A GP who is on trial for the manslaughter of her disabled daughter told gardaí her decision to give her daughter too much sedative was not premeditated.
More detail has been heard about statements given by Bernadette Scully after she was arrested in connection with her daughter's death.
She told gardaí she was frightened as she tried to stop her daughter's seizure and "was not a doctor" that day.
The 58-year-old, of Emvale, Bachelor's Walk, Tullamore, has denied the manslaughter of Emily Barut by an act of gross negligence.
The prosecution alleges she gave toxic amounts of the sedative chloral hydrate on 15 September 2012.
Detective Inspector Ger Glavin outlined a number of interviews with Ms Scully after her arrest in April 2014.
It was put to her that she had made a conscious decision "to take herself and Emily out of this world" on 15 September 2012.
Ms Scully said she did not take a conscious decision to end her daughter's life but she did make a decision to end her own life after her daughter died.
Asked why she did not call an ambulance, she replied that they had "done hospitals and there was nothing they could do".
She denied that she had been reckless as a GP in not knowing the dose she had given was potentially fatal.
She said she had spoken to her daughter's consultants in the past about chloral hydrate and none of them had a problem with her getting it.
However, she accepted that she had given her daughter too much of the sedative on the 15 September.
She said the usual dose would be 10mls but it was always a judgement call.
She said she had given her three doses at 2am, 6am and 11am. The third time she gave a second partially-filled syringe. She said the total she gave was between 27 and 37mls in a nine-hour period."
"I would have got away with 15mls in the past. I told people who were senior to me and they were ok with it," she told gardaí.
She denied that she had given ten doses of 10mls as suggested by the toxicology reports.
"I've already said I gave her too much and I don't know what else to say ... what was I to do, stand there and watch her fit? I didn't give her all that drug for nothing."
Gardaí suggested to her the reason she gave the dose was to "give it to her until she passed away". She said it did not deliberately enter her head to do something to her daughter that day.
She said "I had not slept in eight days and she was roaring and she is my child what was normal about that? I was frightened and trying to stop the fit, I wasn't a doctor that morning."
Asked how she felt after Emily had passed away, she said she felt "black and I felt like I had let her down. I always got her through, I was a doctor and I got others better but I couldn't do it for her."
After her daughter died it was "like someone flicked a switch and I became someone else". She then planned to take her own life.
She said Emily had been just as unwell previously but her reserves were lower and she could not cope.
She said she had requested to be signed off work and was suffering from burnout but the psychiatrist she was seeing had refused to do this, suggesting instead that she put her daughter into residential care during the week.
She said a note she wrote outlining how she wanted to end her life was written after her daughter had died.
She did not accept it could have been written beforehand.
The trial continues tomorrow.
