A woman who alleges her husband assaulted, raped and threatened to kill and cause serious harm to her has told the Central Criminal Court she had no choice but to have contact with him after she had taken out a barring order in order to facilitate access to their child.
During cross-examination, lawyers for the man suggested she was not acting like a woman who was terrified of her husband as she alleges.
The woman said she had been told by a district court judge that despite the barring order she must allow her husband to have access to their child.
Because of this she had to meet her husband to hand over the child but did so in public, outdoor places.
She said she felt she had to facilitate the access to their son and tried to do it in as safe a way as possible in public open spaces.
The man, 42, has pleaded not guilty to seven offences, which are alleged to have happened between May and August 2014.
He has pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife using a hammer on 7 August 2014.
Padraig Dwyer, counsel for the man, put it to the woman that meeting a man she alleges head-butted her and threatened to kill her were not the actions of a woman who was terrified of him.
The woman said it had been made clear to her that she must allow him access to their child and she did so because she had to and it was a very difficult, "horrendous" situation.
It was also put to the woman that she never used the word rape when she outlined her husband's behaviour to the district family law court.
Mr Dwyer put it to her that she had agreed in cross-examination that the sex was consensual. The woman said at the time she had made it quite clear to the district court that she took part in the sex because she was terrified and had to survive.
She accepted she did not use the word rape for some time afterwards because she found it very difficult to use the word.
It was also put to her that her attitude to her marriage was "ambivalent" because she had sex with her husband a number of times after she had made a decision to separate.
The woman said she was not "ambivalent" and the decision had been made but she agreed with counsel that life was not "black and white".
One of the occasions she had sex with him was around an issue regarding their son's birthday party. She said he had said he would not attend their child's party unless she had sex with him.
It was also put to her that she had plenty of opportunity to leave the house on the night she alleges he threatened her with a knife and then forced her to have sex with him.
"From his determination, and from his look, there was no disagreeing with him for the rest of the night," she said.
Mr Dwyer said she had ample opportunity to get out of the house if she wanted to as her husband had slept in another room that night after the alleged rape.
"All I could think of was, do what he says and get through tonight and get help tomorrow."
Mr Dwyer said she had opportunities to contact other people during the night and could have got help. He put it to her that she had stayed in another room that night and had her phone with her.
She said her husband kept coming into the room and threatening her and and had said if you call gardaí they will not get here on time. She said her frame of mind that night was just to survive the night.
The woman left the following day and took out a barring order against her husband.
Mr Dwyer also suggested that if her husband had previously said he could rape her whenever he wanted she had not taken it seriously because she had continued to live with him. He said she would have been well aware of her rights yet did not leave.
The woman said "this wasn't about being aware of your rights. I was trying to separate and have an organised way of doing this surrounding our child. Clearly I was naïve to think that would happen. Of course, in hindsight, I think why didn't I leave sooner".
She also denied that on an occasion when she alleges her husband head-butted her she had instead been shoved by him and had hit her nose off an open door. She said her husband had shoved her but then held her against the kitchen counter and head-butted her.
Mr Dwyer also suggested to the woman that she was "not seriously injured" after her husband assaulted her with a hammer in August 2014.
She replied that it was a serious injury, it was her head, which required 14 staples. However, she accepted she did not have a fractured skull and had no lasting injury from the assault.
He said the man had expressed extreme remorse for this in his statements to gardaí.
Mr Dwyer suggested to the woman that she could have had removed herself from the house at any point before she alleges her husband raped her on 25 May 2014
He told the woman she was "not someone who was disempowered or doesn't know your legal rights or does not have a support structure".
The woman replied that "knowing those things and being in this situation ... part of me found it so hard to believe I was in that situation it was so incredibly difficult for me and even after the barring order it wasn't making any difference."
She said she did not tell her parents or her friends everything and these things were very difficult to admit.
He also questioned why she had continued to live with someone whom she claims had doused the furniture in lighter fuel at one point.
Mr Dwyer said: "So now you are living with someone who is potentially so desperate he could set the house on fire, is homicidal and potentially suicidal - even more sinister than an assault the idea that he might set the house of fire, this is surely something that would have precipitated you leaving him?"
The woman replied that she had "asked myself that question why I didn't leave earlier and you know I don't have the simple answer to that and I blame myself for not leaving earlier but I am not responsible for his actions and this is really hard to admit so when you say why I didn't say it to my Mam and Dad and others it was the last resort for me to go to the gardaí and make a statement."
The woman was also told her husband denies that he grabbed her arm on a city centre street and told her to drop all the barring order stuff or he would do her serious harm.
Defence counsel said put it to her that it never happened because she did nothing about it. The woman replied that the threat did happen and while she did not do anything about it immediately a week later he assaulted her and her mother with a hammer.
Mr Dwyer said the jury would hear how sorry he was for that assault.
The woman's cross examination will continue on Monday.
