A woman whose landlord raped her after plying her with brandy said the memory of what he did to her continues to have a profound effect on her life and as a victim "this is a life sentence".
The man, who is in his 60s, was remanded in custody for sentencing on 11 April.
In her victim impact statement the woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, told the Central Criminal Court sitting in Cork that since the night she was raped, her "entire world" has been turned upside down and her life as she knew it was over.
"What you did to me was an utter violation of my mind, my body and my soul.
"You specially created the perfect opportunity to attack me when I was at my most vulnerable.
"You disrespected and defiled me, using me as an object for your own warped sense of pleasure, showing no compassion for me as a human."
"I was numb and broken. I felt like I had died inside"
She said that as well as raping her, he had put her life at risk exposing to sexually transmitted infections, HIV, pregnancy and cervical cancer.
She said the day after the rape was her darkest, she wanted to die.
She said while she got the highest standard of care the experience of going to the sexual assault clinic "was like being a corpse in a morgue and I was there because you raped me.
"I was numb and broken. I felt like I had died inside.
"As they examined me, they brushed my hair, that memory still chills me to this day."
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She said that she struggled to live life normally, suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, panic attacks, chest pains, nightmares and flashbacks.
"I lost my joy and lost interest in anything that made me happy before. I felt deeply saddened ... I lost myself."
She said her relationship suffered and her fiancé had to get professional therapy to get him through the last few years.
"I felt stupid and belittled"
"What should have been a happy time for us a newly engaged couple and all the happiness, hopes and dreams that brings - it was all taken from us because of your actions."
She said life's "small pleasures like enjoying a drink was hard to overcome without feeling guilt and shame".
She spoke of living "on the edge awaiting this trial", saying she found every aspect of it "traumatising".
Though very grateful for the support from gardaí and others, she said she found her experience of the Criminal Justice System to be "devastating and cruel".
"I found the cross examination highly humiliating. I felt my intelligence was insulted.
"I felt stupid and belittled.
"My honesty and integrity were challenged and that was hard to bear, especially with all that I had been through already.
"My underwear being shown in court and my SATU examination report being read out was another out of body experience."
Woman and fiancé lost home
She said it was "devastating and distressing" to hear defendant's account "of lies" about what happened that night and "hearing you plea not guilty when we both knew the truth".
She said his actions impacted hugely not just on herself, and her fiancé but also on their families.
"You were our landlord, so after you chose to rape me, we obviously had no home anymore, how could we stay there.
"We lost our deposit. Renting somewhere else wasn't an option. I wouldn't have felt safe in another person's property again.
"We ended up moving home to my parents. I couldn't be alone. I am so thankful that they had room for us."
She said he had taken her right to live a normal life, her freedom.
"As a victim, this is a life sentence."
"As a human and as a woman I should have the free will to be in any place, at any time, wearing whatever I wear, drunk or sober without the risk of being raped.
"Your chosen actions are a direct violation of a person's autonomy and free will. My ability to choose was forcefully taken away from me, by you.
"The gruesome memory of what you did to me will never leave me.
"It has had and will continue to have a profound effect on my life. As a victim, this is a life sentence. I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life, with my husband, family and friends."
She urged other victims of sexual violence to find "your inner strength and courage" and speak out.
"Speak your truth and own it, you will be believed," she said.
Jury found landlord guilty
Earlier this month, a jury of four women and eight men found the woman's landlord guilty of raping her on the night of 28 May 2022.
At the sentencing hearing today, Detective Garda Rachel McGrath, of the Garda Protective Services Unit, told the court that during Covid-19 the young woman and her fiancé moved into accommodation rented by the defendant (who lived next door) sharing washing and cooking facilities.
On 28 May 2022, the defendant texted her asking her to move her car for the bins and afterwards suggested they shared a bottle of wine.
The victim's fiancé was away from home for the night.
Once they finished the bottle he suggested a nightcap of brandy which he topped up on a continuous basis leaving her "overwhelmed and intoxicated by the drink".
Gda McGrath said the victim remembered him leading her to a chaise longue, and collapsing into unconsciousness. She woke to find him on top of her, raping her.
She tried to remove him but without success and he only removed himself when he was finished. Shocked at what had happened she asked him why he had done what he had done, was he trying to ruin her and her fiancé's life.
"You plied her with drink that she did not have the capacity to hold."
Gda McGrath said that when interviewed, the defendant told gardaí that there was "a level of intimacy" and that it was "consensual", claiming her complaint had more to do with worries about her fiancé.
She said he told them often about "his probity".
During the trial, the prosecution argued that the defendant was the complainant's landlord and that this put her in a vulnerable position and she agreed to come over to him that evening.
He said the landlord was replenishing her glass with brandy without asking her.
The defendant denied suggestions by the prosecution that he had raped the young woman because of a disagreement he was having with her fiancé's father.
Senior Counsel Conor Devally said "you plied her with drink that she did not have the capacity to hold", and she became drunk to the point of incapacity.
Ms Justice Siobhán Lankford adjourned sentencing until 11 April, remanding the defendant in custody to appear again in court on that date.
