Amy Dunne, the woman who was a teenager when she was at the centre of the 'Miss D' case in 2007, says she is forever haunted by the fact that she did not get to hold her daughter after she was born, or see her face.
Speaking on RTÉ's Today with Sean O'Rourke, Ms Dunne said she was excited and overwhelmed when she discovered when she was pregnant at the age of 16.
She said she had discussed getting pregnant with her boyfriend and had been amazed when he agreed.
She explained that she went for a scan on her 17th birthday, when she was four months' pregnant.
Ms Dunne said that she was excited to find out the gender of the baby and was told that there was something seriously wrong with her baby's head.
Before she received all the information, she said, she left the hospital and ran home.
She said that because she is a "dramatic kind of girl" no one really believed her when she told them there was something seriously wrong and both sets of grandparents decided to go to the hospital, where they were told the baby had anencephaly and had no chance of survival.
Following research on the subject, she said she wanted to terminate the pregnancy and approached a social worker, who was legally looking after her at the time.
Ms Dunne had voluntarily entered foster care for two months around the time she became pregnant.
This, she said, went "horribly".
Ms Dunne said she did her research after the diagnosis and very quickly decided that she "wanted the baby out of me".
We need your consent to load this rte-player contentWe use rte-player to manage extra content that can set cookies on your device and collect data about your activity. Please review their details and accept them to load the content.Manage Preferences
However, after she went to get help from social workers, she said, things got "very extreme". It seemed that one moment she went for support and the next "I was standing in the High Court".
Ms Dunne said she was informed by social workers that the garda station and passport office had been informed of her situation and that she would not get a passport.
She said she rang a solicitor for advice and all of a sudden, she was walking into the High Court.
Ms Dunne said she did not know who was for her and who was against her, she just knew it was "a very big deal".
She added that until that point she would have thought abortion was murder and selfish, pointing out that no one in Ireland at that time knew anything about abortion, because it was not talked about.
She explained that she was advised to say she was suicidal in order to win the case.
However, she decided against this because she did not want to lie and she wanted to "let fate choose her destiny for what was to happen".
She added that she felt proud when Judge Liam McKenchie commended her for not lying.
Read more:
Finné: The Story of Miss D
She said she was subjected to many psychiatric evaluations before she was allowed travel to Liverpool for the termination.
After research, Ms Dunne opted to have an inducement, in case her daughter was able to take a breath following the birth.
She went through a 16-hour labour and refused to take any medication, until two hours before Jasmine was born. She said that, unknown to her, her baby had died before the labour began.
Ms Dunne said her baby had "finger nails and toe nails and everything that a full-term baby has, only that she was small".
She said that things moved "so, so fast" after the birth.
She said because she was not in her own country and did not have time to get her head around what had happened, she never got to see her own daughter or hold her because she was "in a rush to get a flight back to Ireland".
She said that Jasmine's face was was covered with a towel when she was brought in to see her.
Ms Dunne said she has a baby she carried, a connection, a grave, pictures, a child, memories, newspaper clips and a wikipedia page of her name, but she is forever haunted because she feels she did not do what she needed to do.
She said the nurses in Liverpool supported and befriended her.
Although she eventually travelled to Liverpool with her boyfriend, her mother, and her boyfriend's mother, she said she felt "completely alone" because no one knew how to deal with the situation.
She said although help was offered to her, she did not go for proper counselling and she wishes that someone had made her go.
Ms Dunne said she carried the stigma of 'this dirty secret' for many years and recalled standing in Penney's after she came home, while young girls whispered "that's Miss D".
She got pregnant again within two months and said her son, Adam, is "thriving and the man of the house".
She was not sure, she said, how she would eventually tell him of her story.
Within four weeks of her son's birth, she re-enrolled in school and sat her Leaving Cert, went to college and has worked ever since.
The older she got, she said, the harder it is to deal with the situation and the "more real it becomes".
Ms Dunne said she "just keeps going" and she thinks this is another way in which is she "not able to sit and deal with herself on her own".
She said the referendum to repeal the Eighth Amendment had removed the shame she felt about her own situation because she did "what she had to do to survive, for me".
Ms Dunne said no one should be allowed to protest outside a hospital.
To this day, she said, it still hurts her to see "pro-life" people protesting and she gets very mad.
No one, she said, took the decision to have an abortion lightly and "pro-life" supporters should be ashamed of themselves for protesting outside a hospital.
She added that "it was sick" for "pro-life" supporters to hold prayer services near the hospitals.
