Aoife McHugh seeks out expert advice for navigating life after maternity leave.
I had plans made for maternity leave long before I ever had a baby. To me, this was a block of time that felt incredibly precious. A sacred pause between my child's arrival and a return to everyday routine.
I spent a lot of time mentally and physically preparing myself for my daughter's arrival and the time I would spend with her once she was born, but I rarely considered how I would feel when the time came for me to leave.
With this in mind, I wanted to find out more about the challenges new mothers face when returning to work after giving birth.
According to the HSE, returning to work after giving birth can create a great deal of understandable anxiety for new mothers.
Pregnancy and birth put physical and psychological demands on the body, and the early postnatal weeks involve a major adjustment as someone transitions into parenthood, a phase often described as matrescence, where a mother gradually acclimatises to being responsible for another human being.
Matrescence is a concept which was first introduced in the 1970s by anthropologist Dana Raphael in her book: Being Female, Reproduction, Power and Change.
Derived from the Latin root matr- (mother) and escence-(becoming), it was revived by reproductive scientist Alexandra Sacks in her highly viewed 2018 Ted Talk: A new way to think about the transition to motherhood.
Sacks states that it’s not a coincidence that matrescence sounds like adolescence. Both are times when body morphing and hormone shifting lead to an upheaval in how a person feels emotionally and how they fit into the world.
Psychotherapist and Founder of An Croí Beag, Michelle Flynn, who specialises in reproductive and perinatal mental health, acknowledges the challenges posed by identity change.
It involves not only practical changes, but also the emotional challenge of handing over care and trusting that others can meet your baby’s needs. Not to mention the financial and relational burdens this may bring.
During pregnancy and after birth, the brain undergoes adaptations linked to neuroplasticity, which heightens sensitivity to the infant; returning to work can therefore feel like a very real, almost physical shift away from your baby - especially after a shorter maternity leave.
Sacks states that for those who did not give birth, oxytocin is released during skin-to-skin touch, which brings the baby into the centre of their world.
Flynn describes the return to work as a baptism of fire, and the HSE reinforces this: mothers are navigating a new balance between work and caregiving, often while coping with disrupted sleep and the increased likelihood of illness when a child starts childcare.
According to Flynn, for many, the anticipation of returning to work is where maternal guilt comes in. This is something she covers frequently with her patients. She remarks that every emotion has a purpose: the function of guilt is to tell you not to do something again or to repair.
She suggests questioning the root of the emotion: is there anything that this guilt is telling you that you need to do? They might lead to the realisation that there is no reason for this guilt and that it may actually be masking anger or sadness due to leaving your baby.
It’s important to confront the discomfort. Flynn encourages new mothers to allow themselves to experience the feeling: if it's sadness that's showing up, sometimes there's a tendency not to feel it or a fear of remaining stuck there.
Particularly if the woman experienced a mood and anxiety disorder during pregnancy.
In addition, Flynn states that the challenge she often sees is that a lot of mothers tend to go back to work about the one-year mark, which can be a particularly sensitive time.
While the perinatal mental health teams in Irish hospitals are doing excellent work, they will only see patients up until their baby is one year old. Flynn would like to see mental health services stay available for postnatal mothers much longer and for the resources to be increased for women’s health in general in Ireland.
According to the HSE, evidence suggests that the transition back to work is eased by approaching it gradually, where possible (for example, phased returns or reduced hours initially), planning ahead to reduce uncertainty, and having open communication with employers about expectations and possibilities around flexibility.
Where two parents are involved, and the person on maternity leave has been doing the majority of the childcare (including nights), it is important to have conversations about a change in roles when both parents are working so that a balance is established in looking after the baby.
It can be helpful to start this transition before the mother returns to work and to think through all of the mental tasks that she has been holding so that these can be held in mind, too.
Psychological strategies also matter; practising self-compassion, acknowledging the difficulty of the transition, and allowing time for adjustment are linked to better wellbeing, while building trust in "good enough" caregiving (rather than perfection) can reduce anxiety.
In line with this, Sacks encourages women to talk to each other. She says that if women understood the natural progression of matrescence and the complexities therein, they would feel less alone, they would feel less stigmatized and she believes it would decrease rates of postpartum depression.
Sacks reinforces the belief that when you preserve a certain part of your identity, you’re also leaving room for your child to develop their own.
The HSE states that allowing yourself to enjoy aspects of returning to yourself is not a betrayal of your role as a mother, but an important part of integrating both identities in a sustainable way.
Establishing predictable routines, arranging backup childcare where possible, and using small in-day coping techniques such as brief breaks or breathing exercises can further support regulation.
If you're struggling with this, she recommends planning intentional, quality time with your baby throughout the week that will allow you to focus on your connection. She also recommends having a comforting smell, like lavender, or a photo of your baby with you while you work.
Easing back into work is less about eliminating difficulty and more about supporting a gradual psychological and practical transition. When a baby is born, a mother is too; both are experiencing the world anew.
Where anxiety feels persistent or overwhelming, seeking support from a GP or therapist is important, as conditions like postpartum anxiety are common and highly treatable.
You can find support links at about.rte.ie/ie/helplines/
