Amy Morin, the bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, spoke at Dublin's 2026 Pendulum Summit on Friday, 23 January, in Dublin's Convention Centre.
Following her talk, the licensed psychotherapist sat down with RTÉ Lifestyle to discuss her own mental strength and what we can do to give ourselves a boost in dark times.
"My mother passed away when I was 23, and when I was 26, my husband passed away," she shared. "It made me study mental strength from a different perspective. I really wanted to know, when you go through tough times, what is it that you need?"
As a therapist, Morin found that she had a "revolving door" of test subjects, who would share the things that helped them survive and thrive through painful situations.
"I realised it wasn't always about what people did," she explains, "sometimes it was about what they didn't do."
Soon after this realisation, she compiled her findings into an article titled 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, which eventually led to a best-selling book series.
In short, the article listed 10 characteristics, as observed by Morin:
- They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves
- They don't give up their power
- They don't shy away from change
- They don't waste energy on things they can't control
- They don't worry about pleasing everyone
- They don't fear taking calculated risks
- They don't dwell on the past
- They don't make the same mistakes over and over
- They don't resent other people's success
- They don't give up after the first failure
Ten years on from the article going viral, Amy has become a keynote speaker and the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast, where she shares tools for navigating adversity and tips for boosting "mental fitness".
Speaking to RTÉ Lifestyle on a very bleak and grey day in January, Morin said that focusing on what you want to get out of your day is one of the most important steps you can take in life.
"It's important to remember to wake up and remind yourself that whatever you look for today, you're going to find," she explains.
"If I'm looking for angry, impatient people or I'm looking for people who are resentful or bitter, I'm going to find it.
"Flip the switch. Make it a project to find three happy people or five acts of kindness. If you don't find those things, be that person. Sometimes walking in and giving somebody a smile changes everything."
Continuing this train of thought, Morin says that by focusing on the things you can control, you can empower yourself to become more resilient.
"What can you control right now? Maybe it's your attitude, maybe it's your effort, maybe it's what you're thinking about."
Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by world events or stressed about an upcoming meeting, the therapist suggests giving yourself an allotted time to worry before "changing the channel" and changing your environment or your focus.
"If you're somebody who worries a lot or ruminates on the past a lot, you can benefit a lot by scheduling 10 minutes a day to do that," she insists.
"It sounds ridiculous, but if you put in 10 minutes of worry, whenever you catch yourself worrying outside of that, you can tell yourself that it's not time to worry yet. Within about two weeks, people say, 'what a difference'."
The reason this works, she says, is that if you tell yourself not to think of something, your brain will likely become fixated on it. If you give yourself a set time to focus on something, though, your brain can move on.
You can listen to The Verywell Mind Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
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