In a busy world, filled with never-ending to-do lists, it can be tricky to carve out some quality alone time. Behavioural psychologist Pádraig Walsh joined Laura Fox on RTÉ 2fm to share his thoughts on the benefits and challenges of solitude in a busy world.
"Right now, there is so much noise in the world," Walsh says, explaining that solitude isn't simply a time to relax, but a time to sort through the many thoughts that have been buzzing around in the back of your mind.
In other words, scrolling on TikTok for an hour before bed doesn't count. In fact, according to Walsh, being alone but on your phone doesn't count as alone time at all.
Our days are so filled with podcasts, music, e-mails, phone calls, and constant notifications - not to mention time with friends, family, work acquaintances, and neighbours - that having a time of "pure solitude" is difficult these days.
By habitually seeking out stimuli from our phone, we're keeping our brains on - continuously 'downloading' information: "You're not experiencing solitude," Walsh insists. "You're not psychologically switching off."
Unlike loneliness, solitude is voluntary and, these days, has to be an active choice.
If you're struggling to get out for a walk without your phone, Walsh suggests trying a hobby or activity around the house that keeps your hands busy (weeding the garden and doing household chores are his go-tos).
Although the definition of solitude is to be in a 'state or situation of being alone'. Walsh says that, technically, you can enjoy the feeling of solitude even when surrounded by a crowd.
If you're sitting on a busy bus, for example, try to sit with your thoughts while watching the world go by rather than scrolling through your apps.
Another way to challenge yourself could be to go to enjoy a solo cinema date or take yourself out to lunch without any distractions.
Of course, too much of anything is simply that - too much.
"One of the biggest indicators of a good life span is that we would stay socially connected with other people and enjoy the company of others," the psychologist says.
"There is no magic formula for how much time we should spend with other people," he adds, explaining that each individual must be able to figure out what they need in order to "charge their batteries".
"A little dose of solitude, a little dose of me-time is great," he insists, "but it can become so alluring because in the short-term it's all of the nice comforts that we need - it's the comfy couch and reality TV - and sometimes it takes someone from the outside to say, 'there's a lot more to life that you actually enjoy'.
While some of us may have the luxury of enjoying nights on the couch and nights on the town, others may be kept busy at all hours thanks to young children. For parents of young kids, Walsh says it's all about 'micro-moments'.
A leisurely lunch may be out of the question, but time alone can be found in the day-to-day jobs, whether it be a food shop, bringing the dog for a walk, or eeking out those micro-moments.
"A little bit longer putting out the wheelie bin or a little bit longer sorting out the laundry, just gives yourself that solitude," he says, with the caveat that communicating with your partner or any other available caretaker is essential.
To learn more about the benefits of solitude, listen back to the interview on RTÉ 2FM above.
If you have been affected by issues raised in this story, please visit: www.rte.ie/helplines.
