Psychologist Niamh Delmar shares some top tips for enjoying a calm Christmas.
Christmas is a stressful time for some, and sad for others. People may embrace it or endure it. Findings by the U.K. organisation 'Mind' revealed that during this time nearly 60% of those with mental health problems experienced panic attacks, 45% felt suicidal* and 41% got into debt. 81% reported that they found Christmas stressful.
The ‘Christmas creep’ means the season kicks off earlier each year, orchestrated by marketing strategies and propelled by consumerism. This induces anticipatory excitement or fear. If your psychological battery is already drained from the year, there is not much left for festivities.
Time, money, and energy get used up quickly as the Christmas fervor takes over. Families reunite and homes fill up, or loneliness sets in. There is a tendency to overindulge, overspend and overdo. Research shows an increase in cardiac arrests and heart-related deaths during the season.
Expectations to ‘create Christmas’ contribute to seasonal stress. Many parents feel the strain of producing magical experiences. Financial distress is exacerbated by ads and social media promoting a fairytale-type Christmas and endless ‘stuff.’ Every year the bar is raised with images of perfection. Even the nightly events of ‘Elf on the shelf’ has become like a competitive sport!
As society has evolved more materialistically, so too has the season of goodwill. Christmas FOMO drives people to go that one step further to avoid missing out or to ensure their children don’t.
Festive stress is accompanied by reduced daylight which dampens mood, a barrage of Christmas stimuli such as songs and decorations, extra workloads, deadlines, and past memories. When our demands exceed our resources, we feel overwhelmed and under pressure. People start moving faster, planning, overthinking, and adding to lists. The deadline becomes Christmas Day.
There may be a feeling of losing control if the period is hijacked by the needs of others. Pre-existing stress will be amplified during this time. We hear the term ‘stress’ used flippantly, but what are the symptoms of real stress?
It can have serious consequences on relationships and family dynamics as your stress spills out on others. It can impede daily functioning and negatively impact work. There is physical, emotional and psychological strain.
Repeated stress contributes to high blood pressure and other physical health conditions. Ongoing stress leads to being on alert as the fight, flight or freeze response is triggered. The brain signals perceived danger to the nervous system. Adrenaline is released into the bloodstream initiating physiological changes, such as increased heart rate and rapid breathing.
If the stress response continues, cortisol is released keeping the person revved up. A person may feel fear, experience an inability to relax, have disturbed sleep or changes in appetite. Irritability, overreactions and anger outbursts may feature. It all feels overwhelming and too much to cope with. Each individual has different baselines and responses to situations.
There is a difference to being under stress and being stressed. There are situations in life that will impact most people like a bereavement, traumatic event or a crisis. Stress is expected. Others will get stressed over everyday situations and be triggered easily. Shopping for Christmas presents may be a big deal for one person and a walk in the park for someone else.
How to calm yourself this Christmas
1. Assess your stress levels. List all stressors and generate solutions. Write down the events that have drained your resources. Notice any physical sensations and what your inner dialogue is telling you.
2. Be aware if you are overreacting to a situation. Remind yourself it is not an emergency. Catch yourself overthinking. If you are racing, so too will your mind be.
3. Ditch perfection. People will enjoy the company more than the elaborate setup.
4. Delegate. Don’t be a Christmas martyr, taking it all on. If possible, ask people to collect stuff, post parcels, help write cards, carry out cleaning chores, make dishes and other ‘to do’ items on your list.
5. Get organised. Set dates for tasks to be carried out. Planning ahead reduces last-minute bustle. Prepare whatever you can in advance.
6. Have the Christmas you want, not what is prescribed or dictated by others.
7. Know your budget and stick to it. Reflect on what the true meaning of Christmas is to you. If you are struggling financially, ask for help. If you are financially comfortable, be generous and help others. While it is the thought that counts, don’t be a scrooge. Giving is associated with better psychological well-being. Research shows it helps self-esteem, boosts mood and secretes "feel good" chemicals in the brain. Think about who you could help in your circle, wider community and beyond. You will benefit to what is known as the "helper’s high".
8. Change your mindset: rather than waiting until January to start a healthy kick, start now. Get outdoors more, enjoy regular winter walks, swim, cycle, join a yoga class or whatever else you find enjoyable. Commit to healthy habits now such as drinking more water, not overindulging in food or alcohol and getting to bed early. Watch out for the "ah to hell with it" attitude.
9. Meditate. Take 10/20 minutes daily to listen to a guided meditation. And engage in practical mindfulness: where ever you are or whatever you are doing, focus your attention on your in-breath and your out-breath, repeat words such as ‘calm’ or ‘slow down’, engage in all your senses and let your muscles relax. It lets the brain know we aren’t in crisis. It works.
10. If it is interfering with your daily functioning- stop or take a break and discuss with your GP.
Resources
- *Samaritans Ireland
- The Headspace app
- Jon Kabat-Zinn mediations on YouTube
- www.positivepsychology.com -look up stress
- www.svp.ie
