Filling in for Jennifer Zamparelli on RTÉ 2FM, Lottie Ryan spoke with co-founder of the Sibling Grief Club, Maeveen McNabb, about how they came up with a very interesting way of helping people in the same situation as herself and her sisters.
"The Sibling Grief Club is predominantly an online resource to provide support and comfort to bereaved adult siblings," says Maeveen McNabb.
The website includes expert webinars, which take viewers through educational videos on how grief may manifest and various coping mechanisms. There are also online communities and private groups so those who are struggling can connect with others and come to terms with what they are experiencing.
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The idea for the website came about in 2020, when a pregnant Maeveen was completing her antenatal classes online through a series of webinars. During one of these sessions, it struck her that she could have had a similar online support system through her bereavement journey in 2017, when she suddenly lost her sister, Triona.
She told Lottie that she wished a community like this had existed then so that she could have experienced a "sense of understanding" or reassurance that her reaction was normal.
"Just a bit of guidance as to what was normal, what I was feeling was normal, that it was a shock response, that it was a trauma response. I just felt so frightened a lot of the time. There were a lot of physical symptoms; a lot of night terrors, appetite affected. Just completely changed me as a person and I didn't recognise anything in the world, nothing seemed familiar. It was just the most horrific, horrendous experience."
While she was on maternity leave, Maeveen and her two sisters, Edel and Cathy, put their heads together and came up with The Sibling Grief Club.
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Although she has never lost a sibling, Lottie shared that she and her sisters experienced a lot of the same emotions when they suddenly lost their father, Gerry Ryan, in 2010.
"The complete shock of not knowing that that's what I was about to go through, I remember thinking: 'Why did no one talk to me in school about this? Why did nobody warn me that this is something people will go through?'"
Maeveen agrees, explaining that while nothing can truly prepare a person for losing a loved one, there are practical steps that can be taken:
"There can be a lot more work done to prepare people for grief and mourning and for anyone who is bereaved, not just siblings. As a society, we're really good. Irish people are really, really good at wakes and funerals but we're not that great at the aftermath, which is where the bereaved struggle."
Lottie agrees, adding: "It's that month, two months, three months after the passing when people, understandably, get back on with their lives but you're left with this new life to make sense of."
To hear more about The Sibling Grief Club, listen back to The Jennifer Zamparelli Show above.
If you have been affected by issues raised in this story, please visit: www.rte.ie/helplines.
