Chris McFadden of The Daddy Sleep Consultant is Ireland & the UK's first male sleep consultant. We caught up with the Donegal man to get some top tips for getting a good night's rest.
In your experience, what sleep issues have families struggled with over COVID?
One big thing that's been hard for some families is getting enough stimulation for little ones in the day. So many classes and clubs were cancelled, and an active body and mind is so interlinked with sleep.
Parents’ own mental health too. Sleep deprivation is hard. Being able to share stories and tips with other parents is so powerful and lots of new parents missed out on the experience of getting out into the community or meeting friends. It was isolating.
Also, there is nothing more refreshing than a change of scenery but with limited options to socialise and get out, it wasn’t as easy for parents to shake off a tough day or night with their little ones.
How can parents juggle getting young kids and newborns asleep at the same time?
This is such a common question and something parents struggle with all the time.
Older siblings can be so excited when a little brother or sister arrives and they love being helpful. Embrace this! My eldest son Teddy was two when baby Rafferty arrived. He loved being big brother so we encouraged him to 'help' at bedtime.
After the bath, he would come into Raffy’s room and pick the baby’s sleepsuit and get his night nappy out of the basket. Teddy was already dressed at this point and it could easily have been a time for him to have felt left out or overshadowed by his new brother.
Instead, he picked a book for us to read whilst Rafferty was feeding, and then went to bed and said good night to his little brother. Depending on the baby’s age, you can then take the baby downstairs, or as I recommend, use this as an opportunity to begin a bedtime routine with the baby too.
Put them into their crib in a dark room with you and all feeds from then on should be done in the dark with limited stimulation. It’s a great way to get your newborn to differentiate between day and night.
Often when they are born they have day and night upside-down because when they are in the womb they often sleep when mum is moving about in the day rocking them. And are then awake at night when mum is trying to sleep. This is a really gentle strategy to help them move more towards daytime hours.
Is white noise a helpful tool for getting babies to bed?
I’m not a big fan of white noise for the sake of settling as it can become a sleep ‘prop’ that isn’t necessary, and in my experience, not always effective. But it can be really useful when used as a noise blocker in the older child’s room if you live on a main road with lots of traffic noise, have loud pets, or in this case, a new baby crying.
Some toddlers and young children sleep deeply through any noise. But others are lighter sleepers and can be disturbed frequently by a baby crying.
My only recommendation if you use white noise is that the noise is on all night, as it’s often the change in frequency that wakes little ones rather than the noise itself. Also, you don’t want to be in and out all night turning it back on!
What's the best way to get kids back into a sleep schedule after the Christmas break?
For babies and toddlers, try and travel at scheduled nap times. Getting a nap, even if it's shorter or longer than normal, at around the same time each day is a great way to give you the best chance of maintaining the same bedtime.
For all ages, try and keep to the same bedtime and routine. Take familiar books and bedding with you and carry out the same steps you would at home if possible. Following the same routine as at home, even in someone else's house, will mean that your little one will know what’s expected of them at bedtime.
Why do you think it's so unusual for men to be sleep coaches? What drew you to the position?
I don't think it's just sleep coaches that’s unusual for men. It’s a majority of the parenting sector. I am so passionate about Dads being a big part of the parenting narrative, and I work with lots of brands to help them engage with Dads. It’s a huge opportunity in the market that not everyone is attuned too.
Dads not being included in the parenting narrative was a big issue before – and it still is - but COVID has amplified it. Some dads - and mums - have been given the opportunity to be at home with their kids so much more which means they have been able to be more present, be more involved in the challenges of parenting and I want to ensure that information out there, on sleep and parenting in general, is more inclusive than it currently is.
What impact can good sleep have on a family?
I think sleep is so important for many reasons. For little ones it's a major part of their physical and cognitive development. When our eldest, Teddy, was six months, none of us were getting any sleep and it was just so difficult – we were 'supposed’ to be loving parenting when every day was simply about survival and it felt like Teddy was forever cranky and upset.
It also had an impact on our relationship as we weren’t spending any quality time together and I can tell you from experience that no constructive conversation happens at 2am. So, we enlisted the help of a sleep consultant and it changed our lives in in the matter of just a couple of weeks.
Our little boy was sleeping better, feeding better and all round much happier, and we began to thrive as parents. I just love helping families with this same transformation – it really can be life-changing.
