The apology texts arrived steadily, but not with any great deal of shock. Karl McKaigue knew they were coming and, truth be told, he would have been disappointed if they hadn't.
As a servant to many masters for a long time, he knows well just how much sport can impact on a player’s calendar. Considered at one stage as a potential claimant to the crown of Ulster’s best dual player - most of the other contenders are his closest friends - McKaigue himself has had to send the same text many times over the years.
Weddings, stags, birthdays, the invites always appreciated but often ripped up by a big game for Derry or Sleacht Néill.
McKaigue was on the receiving end this time though for his stag in Sligo last weekend as some of the Derry players, including older brother Chrissy, had to give it a swerve following their All-Ireland quarter-final win over Cork the previous Sunday.
Indeed, if it wasn’t for a series of unfortunate events, he would have had to pull the whole thing anyway for his own preparation for the Oakleaf County’s battle with Kerry this afternoon for a spot in the 2023 All-Ireland final.
"Nobody has missed more stags over the years than myself through club commitments and county commitments," the physiotherapist told RTÉ Sport.
"Obviously there are bigger fish to fry, which is an All-Ireland semi-final against the reigning champions. That’s a good enough excuse to get out of one, isn’t it?"
Today is McKaigue’s 31st birthday and if fortune had favoured him, he could have been plotting how to take down Seánie O’Shea and David Clifford alongside his brother Chrissy, but he has now officially retired from inter-county duty after two serious injuries changed his envisioned destination.
The first came back in 2020 when he suffered a complete rupture of his Achilles’ tendon while on club hurling duty. Two years later, he required hip surgery and with that came the decision to hang up the Derry jersey for good.
"Obviously there are bigger fish to fry, which is an All-Ireland semi-final against the reigning champions. That's a good enough excuse to get out of one, isn’t it?"
"I’m still playing club hurling and football and if you’re still playing for your club it’s going to be at a high enough level.
"I called time on the county career, with the volume of training and intensity of training it’s hard to recover between sessions and if you really wanted to be getting game-time, you need to be training well all the time.
"The way my body was, it just wasn’t allowing me to do that, so it was the best thing for me and I imagine it’ll extend the club career too. I wasn’t going to be doing myself justice training when I could.
"You always think 'what if’ but how many players can make that sort of argument?
"It was harder watching on last year, it was a wee bit more raw. You were watching last year and seeing them win [Ulster] and you saw it again this year, but you can come to terms with it a lot more this year. I’m like everyone else now, I’m a supporter 100% wanting the team to do well. As much as you might have felt a wee bit more jealous last year, you’re right behind them."
Rather than the green and gold of Kerry, McKaigue had to instead contend with the green and yellow of Glenullin on his stag ahead of his marriage to fiancée Eimear – strong-armed into the jersey of a club rival by his five future brothers in law, the O’Kanes.
Chief protagonist was Gerard O’Kane, who has spent the last week celebrating another milestone win for his beloved Derry, but also reminiscing about his own All-Ireland final experience and wondering can Ciaran Meenagh’s side shock the Kingdom to seal a return this afternoon.
O’Kane was Derry minor captain 21 years ago as the county claimed the All-Ireland minor title for a fourth time at Croke Park against Meath. Last Sunday, he headed straight from the Sligo stag to Armagh to watch their sixth success following a storming win over Monaghan in front of 13,754 fans, having also lifted the Tom Markham Cup in 2020.
"21 years, the big difference between this minor team and our own is that we got to play in Croke Park on All-Ireland final day, which was obviously the day Armagh beat Kerry in the senior final," O’Kane said.
"The day in itself was amazing but it’s not until you sit down in the aftermath of it that you realise the magnitude.
"The Monday after the final was the first time that the Sam Maguire and the Tom Markham came into what is known as the six counties, that was the first day that the two cups came across the border together.
"This Derry minor team is an amazing team. I think it’s the fifth time I saw the side this year and nearly every time, they’ve gotten better."
O’Kane was 17 when he starred at full-back for a side that coughed up, on average, just nine points a game - Damian McErlain’s 2023 version gave up a ridiculously low 0-22 in their first six matches of this campaign – and two years later he was thrown into the action as Derry met Kerry in the All-Ireland semi-final for a fourth time with the Kingdom leading 2-1 on prior meetings.
Having missed an Ulster championship humbling at the hands of Sam Maguire holders Tyrone through injury, Mickey Moran showed faith in the youngster by handing him his debut in a qualifier against Wicklow on a day when O’Kane’s cousin Paddy Bradley starred to get the show back on the road.
Further wins over Cavan, Wexford, Limerick and Westmeath set up a last-four encounter with Jack O’Connor’s Kerry. There was added significance over the fixture with Kerry’s inability to deal with Ulster sides a talking point pre-game after struggles with Armagh and Tyrone over the previous two seasons.
"We had gained momentum, it was our sixth game in maybe nine or 10 weeks but we probably didn’t really believe we could beat them," O’Kane continued.
"This was a Kerry team that had lost the ‘02 final and the ‘03 semi and although we had nothing to do with that, they were coming with a real point to prove.
"Jack O’Connor’s first year, he was looking in from the outside on those two losses and he changed things up a bit in ‘04.
"I was chatting to a lad the morning after, and funny I was talking to him last week, and he said that I told him 19 years ago that I couldn’t get over the power and intensity of Kerry. Looking back we had a few lads who were green at inter-county level.
"For us it was a shot to nothing but we were still in the game at half time but they just had that bit more experience and craft and knowhow.
"Once they got ahead the game sort of petered out. For an All-Ireland semi-final, I’m not saying we left anything behind because we didn’t, but we didn’t have a proper rattle at them in the second half. They were the better side and went on and proved that against Mayo in the final."
Kerry won that semi-final 1-17 to 1-11 and they’re warmly fancied to record another win at Croke Park at Derry’s expense.
But O’Kane knows from his own playing days, the county has the ability to shock.
In 2006, they travelled to Omagh to take on All-Ireland holders Tyrone and incredibly the Red Hands failed to score in the first half with the visitors in hyper mode after a surprise pre-match inspirational talk from the late Eamonn Coleman.
Thirteen months later they travelled to face Armagh in Clones and the ‘Derry 300’ term was bandied about, referring to the total amount of Oakleaf fans on show.
Even if the number was pitiful, they were heard at the full-time whistle as Collie Devlin’s late winner brought an end to Joe Kernan’s reign as Orchard boss while Kieran McGeeney would never kick a football again, taking up the Kildare job three months later to continue unbroken service at senior inter-county level now stretching 36 years.
"The Tyrone game was set up for us, Tyrone were on a hiding to nothing," said O’Kane.
"We had that new manager bounce with Paddy Crozier than Kerry maybe got in ‘04. All the pressure was on them and we had a good group of players who were on a few years from that semi-final loss to Kerry.
"Since the moment the draw was made, that Tyrone game was all that was in Crozier’s head. He didn’t worry about the league as long as we got through it. That said, no one expected us to lead 6-0 at half time, we didn’t expect that either.
"The game against Armagh, nobody expected anything from us, the Derry ticket sales spoke to that. We had fair belief though. I know it was only a one-point game but I think we were full value for it.
"I know Armagh won Ulster in ‘08, but I think that game was the end of that era."
O’Kane certainly believes another shock could be on the cards, and future brother-in-law McKaigue feels likewise as Derry’s GAA scene continues to move in the right direction.
"In 2015 Derry were getting relegated from Division 1 and then there was a landslide to Division 4 in the years that followed," he said. "Who would have seen this coming?
"But there has been restructuring of underage and schools, a lot of good players coming through, and there seems to be a lot of good pathways now and we’re seeing the rewards of that."
"Belief plays a massive role in games like these and the will of the minors at the weekend highlights that," O’Kane added.
"If you asked most people straight down the line about who was the better team with the better players, Kerry is the answer you’ll get mostly.
"I wouldn’t argue with that either, they’ve proven that by winning the All-Ireland last year. But if you asked me a second question, ‘can Derry beat them?’ then I would say yes.
"The county is on the crest of a wave and it’s amazing what that bit of energy can do for belief.
"An All-Ireland minor title on Sunday, enjoy it and then Tuesday, Wednesday you were tuning into this weekend and I think fans will feel better about this game.
"The minor game has no impact on Sunday’s game but it gives Derry that wee bit of a bounce. That may be a false sense of belief, but inside the camp they’ll be focussed and they’ll believe."
