Well, the Vatican ruling last week on cremation has had, shall we say, a ‘mixed reception’, even amongst many of the faithful. Check back on our previous story on this page, if you want some of the theological explanation. But in essence, the ruling made it clear that observant Catholics are forbidden from keeping the ashes of cremated loved ones at home, scattering them, or dividing them between family members.
Although not forbidding cremation, the ruling said that ashes must be stored in sacred places, such as cemeteries, and according to instructions laid out by the Vatican.
That ‘mixed reception’ was evident on Liveline today, in the form of Kilkenny woman, Marian McDonald.
“Last week, I was listening to what our Pope has said about cremations. And I thought, when he comes to Ireland, if he ever comes down to rural Kilkenny, I will be excommunicated. Because I’m standing in the back of my house, looking down the garden, and my daughter, who died in December, 2014, is buried in the garden.”
Marian's daughter, Amy, was 39 when she died of cancer, just two years ago. She was a strong woman, who had all of the arrangements made before she died. By her own admission, Marian and her family were never great church-goers. But nonetheless, they engaged with their local priest in advance of Amy's death, to make arrangements.
After reposing her daughter's body at home for several days, the family brought her to church for a funeral mass, as normal, before going to Ringaskiddy for cremation, a location she describes as “the most beautiful place.”
Finally, a week later, the urn containing Amy's ashes were buried in the garden and a service was held, presided over by the local priest.
Although Amy had originally picked out a plot for herself, her mother could not bring herself to put her into “a hole in the ground”. But equally, Marian was worried about what she might become, if her daughter was buried as normal in the local cemetery.
“Will I become the crazy woman out here? At night, on a stormy night, going down to make sure she is okay. It’s only if you lose a child that you appreciate what I’m saying. It probably sounds crazy.”
From this, the idea of cremation was discussed between Marian and her daughter, Amy. The whole process, she describes, was “perfect”.
“Our priest, who was probably hitting 80, from an older generation, he had absolutely no problem with it. He said, “this is your daughter, this is what she wants, and this is what we’re going to do.”
And the Vatican ruling? What does Marian think of that?
“I think it’s crazy. Absolutely crazy. To me, whether we believe in an afterlife or not, Amy is gone. The person is gone.”
To listen to the full interview, click here.