Today, Ray D’Arcy received an email from a woman who had listened to yesterday’s show and felt “compelled” to write to him. Ray had read out a letter from a man who told Ray that he is struggling to come out as gay. This letter prompted the 39-year-old primary school teacher to address something she has been struggling with herself.

She told Ray that writing into radio shows is not the norm for her.

“It’s a strange one for me to take to writing to a radio show but I felt I really needed to do it.”

The listener explained that she is gay but she hasn’t felt able to tell anybody.

“I’m riddled with shame in regards to my sexuality. I know myself my sexuality but I’ve never said it out loud and don’t feel I can. Nor have I ever disclosed to anyone. I feel I could be so happy if I could accept myself but I feel the shame of myself and how ashamed others would be of me.”

She told Ray that she did attempt to talk to a professional but couldn’t get past the fear of bringing up the subject of sexuality up during their sessions.

“I tried to engage in therapy earlier this year but I couldn’t bring myself to disclose this and had five sessions but never got to it. I physically cannot say the words. How I wish things could be different. I lived a lie all my life and can’t see any other way.“

The listener acknowledged that nowadays, it is easier for people to come out to others than in years past.

“I know it doesn’t make sense in this day and age to be feeling this way but for me it is and I’m struggling.”

She told Ray that she has tried things like joining groups online but couldn’t take the leap to “follow through” and meet anyone from these groups. She is grateful for the “good friends” she has in her life but is still struggling to broach the topic with them.

“I don’t have the courage to talk to anyone about this and no-one thinks otherwise. Or at least, if they do, they’ve never said. I’m riddled with guilt but also with anger and anxiety. I envy young people who are out and open and how I would have loved to be in Dublin Castle in May ’15 or even in town to have been able to cheer the result [of the Marriage Referendum].”

Ray encouraged the listener to talk to someone.

“The people who are closest to you and love you the most probably have an inkling…Tell somebody and say it out loud and blurt it out. Don’t build up to it. Just blurt it out. And you will be surprised, I would imagine, what will happen then. It will change your life, no doubt.“

Listen back to The Ray D’Arcy Show here.

LGBT Ireland run a number of helplines across the country if you feel you need to talk to somebody. Their national helpline is 1890 929 539.