Psychologist and Counsellor Allison Keating has spent the last 18 years listening to things people have never told anybody else. She told Ray D'Arcy that while everyone has a different story to tell, she thinks the themes can be the same. In her new book, The Secret Lives of Adults, Allison aims to get us to know ourselves. And it's not all about bubble baths.

The book deals with the different lives we play out in our various relationships. With our parents, siblings, partner, children and ourselves.

"I identified with it on a personal level and a clinical level…everyone has a different story but the themes are the same."

One common theme Allison has seen in her work is a kind of "fear" some people have to sit with their thoughts, without distraction.

"I think people aren't switching off at all…when did you actually just sit?"

This "mental hygiene" is important, Allison says, if we want to get to know ourselves.

"I think it's great that we're talking more but I think we have to walk the talk. I think we have to think of mental hygiene the same as, you know, toothbrush cleaning, that you do it twice a day, every day. Like, you would never just not brush your teeth."

Listen back to the whole discussion on The Ray D'Arcy Show here.