Three mothers of daughters who have died by suicide spoke to Joe Duffy on Liveline on Monday: Aisling O'Neill, mother of 16 year old Mia, Jackie Fox, mother of 21 year old Nicole and Mary Sheehan, mother of 14 year old Kayleigh.
For Aisling, this was her second time on Liveline, having spoken to Joe in November 2019 to talk about her daughter Mia, who died on the 6th of September that year. Aisling says her mixed race daughter was severely bullied since the age of 10, but she told Joe on Monday that the problem started even earlier than that. Aisling says she remembers contacting the late 2fm presenter Gerry Ryan about the racial abuse her daughter was suffering as a very small child:
"Her torment actually began at 4."
Joe raised the recent death of the former Love Island host, Caroline Flack. Aisling says her daughter was a big fan of Love Island and loved Caroline Flack and she would have been devastated at the presenter's death. Aisling says it hits her hard when she sees anyone's life end in that way, or when she sees people having a tough time online:
“When I see anyone struggling, it affects me. Because I have a fear, a constant fear that here's a person reaching out just like Mia did before her death and I'm hoping that somebody is going to reach that person before they end up doing what Mia did."
Joe then spoke to Jackie Fox, mother of Nicole, also known as Coco. Jackie says her daughter initially suffered physical abuse from bullies and then it moved to social media.
"They annihilated her, tortured her online."
Jackie says Nicole was subjected to persistent messages from people encouraging her to take her own life. Jackie says her daughter didn't want to end her life:
"She didn't want to leave me heartbroken."
Nicole died by suicide at the age of 21 in January 2018. Joe wondered about Jackie's reaction to the death of Caroline Flack. Jackie questions the right of people to persistently abuse others online:
"What gives people the right to tear strips off someone, to break them down so bad, until they can't see past another day?"
Jackie is currently campaigning for the introduction of legislation on online bullying, which she would like to be called "Coco's Law", in memory of her daughter.
Mary Sheehan, mother of Kayleigh, echoed the words of the other two mums. Kayleigh died in hospital in June 2019, after a suicide attempt. Mary says her daughter was also severely bullied and she’s frustrated that people can post abusive comments online anonymously.
"They're doing it from the comfort of their home, and they are killing our children. It's a national crisis."
Like the other mothers, Mary is concerned with the mental health and welfare of all young people who are experiencing bullying. She told Joe that she has a message for them:
"Don't let them silence you. Do not live in fear. Please, let your family know. Don't let them silence you. Tell someone."
Each of the three mothers, Aisling, Jackie and Mary are campaigning separately and together to raise awareness about suicide and online bullying. They all hope to get broad support and endorsement for their campaigns. Aisling says they are in this together:
"Myself, Mary and Jackie know each other. We're connected in pain. And bonded in what we've been through with our children."
The three women plan to make their voices heard, turning the verbal abuse into verbal empowerment. As Aisling puts it:
"Words are very powerful. They can be used as a weapon of destruction or a weapon of change, and I choose to use my voice as a weapon of change. "
Joe Duffy also spoke to 2fm presenter Eoghan McDermott and counsellor Dermot Lahiff in the conversation on Liveline with Aisling, Jackie and Mary. You can hear the full segment here.
Anyone affected by issues raised in this article can contact The Samaritans on 116-123, text 087-2-60-90-90 or e-mail jo@samaritans.ie.
There are links to other support organisations available online at rte.ie/support.
Ruth Kennedy