Mental health has yet to achieve parity with physical health in terms of perception: there are still people and places where mental illness is considered a taboo, a stigma, a sign of weakness. But, of course, mental illness is just like physical illness – anyone can get it and it's best to seek treatment advice from a medical professional. And, just like any other illness, mental illness is usually very personal and private to the person suffering from it. Which is probably why Ryan Tubridy told Alastair Campbell that reading his new book felt like eavesdropping on a session between Campbell and his psychiatrist. The former British Labour Party spin doctor was happy that this was the effect his book had on Ryan because his psychiatrist was one of the first people he showed the book to.
"I do feel he was a very, very important part of me getting to a much better place with my depression."
Campbell has struggled with depression for a long time and spent too much time refusing to face up to the fact that he might be suffering from depression.
"I'm now 63. I think it's taken me a long time to get to a place where I've learned to live with it, even though I still get it and even though it can still be very crippling and brutal. And I hope that if people are out there who are struggling, that they don't take as long as I did to face up to some of the things that you need to do."
Ryan asked Campbell if he felt that there is still some stigma around discussion of mental health and depression. Yes, was the answer and he's adamant that there shouldn't be:
"Doing it in this way and being, as you say, completely frank about it and about what it's meant for me and my family and my partner and my kids and my parents and everything else is just to say that there shouldn't be that taboo."
Campbell spent years in denial about his mental health and part of the reason for writing the book was the hope that it might help others avoid the decades that he spent denying he had a problem. And denial, according to Campbell adds an almost moral dimension to an already-challenging situation:
"It's not right that you feel like this; this is the wrong way to feel, there is something wrong with you. And that feeling is then what inhibits you from saying to somebody else, 'Do you know what? I'm not right. I don't feel right. I need help.'"
Ryan told Alastair that he didn't strike him as the sort of person who'd have any interest in a gratitude list. Why not? Campbell asks. Well, Ryan, tells him, "I get the impression you're a rather testosterone-fuelled chap who wouldn't be into that sort of thing. That belongs to other people." Alastair cast aside Ryan's tongue-in-cheek impression and went on to stress that he sees gratitude as very important for his own mental health.
"I think it's important that we all try to be grateful and try to express gratitude for the things that really matter… And that is one of the exercises I did regularly with my psychiatrist. When I was feeling bad, he would say, 'Ok, you're feeling bad, let's push that to one side for a minute. Tell me the things you feel grateful for'. And once you start to list them, you actually – it can help to lift your mood."
Alastair Campbell's tipping point came after he had left Number 10. He and his partner Fiona weren't getting on very well and one day, after going for a walk, he came home and started literally beating himself up.
"I just felt this kind of rage inside me and I started beating myself up. I mean, you know, quite badly. I mean, like, bruised eyes and throwing myself about and, you know, Fiona was just standing there looking terrified. And that was the moment when I realised that, you know, you've tried your best, you really tried to work this through on your own. You can't do it."
That was the incident which finally led Campbell to look for professional help and with that help, he's been coping with his mental health ever since. There's a lot to digest in Alastair Campbell's excellent and very revealing conversation with Ryan, and you can listen to the full audio here.
Living Better: How I Learned to Survive Depression by Alastair Campbell is published by John Murray.
If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, this is a list of services available which may be able to help.
Niall Ó Sioradáin