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Ukrainian surrogate mother and her children flee to safety in Ireland

Cathy Wheatley from Wicklow and Ivana Holub from Ukraine
Cathy Wheatley from Wicklow and Ivana Holub from Ukraine

A surrogate mother who carried twins for an Irish couple almost three years ago has moved from Ukraine to the safety of their home in Co Wicklow.

Cathy Wheatley travelled to the border of Ukraine and Romania two weeks ago from where she brought Ivana Holub and her three children back to Ireland.

An Oireachtas committee is currently examining proposed legislation around surrogacy in this country.

Under current law, Ms Holub is the legal mother of Ms Wheatley's twins.

Since Ms Wheatley and her husband Keith had their twins through Ms Holub in Ukraine over two years ago, they remained in close contact her.

When the invasion occurred in Ukraine, Ms Wheatley travelled to Romania to get Ms Holub and her three children out of the country.

'We were trying to find each other in the camp'

Ms Wheatley recalls the moment after the long journey, including sleeping in a car overnight, that she finally found Ms Holub at a camp on the Ukrainian side of the Romanian border.

"Ivana was on the phone, we were trying to find each other in the camp, I could hear her, and I ran around trying to find her.

"One of the volunteers started shouting saying 'here, here, here'. Ivana ran out and we gave the biggest hug possible, and we got the boys, and yeah, that was it."

As the surrogate of Ms Wheatley's twins, under Irish law, Ms Holub is the legal mother of Cathy's twins.

In Ukraine, the surrogate mother hands over the rights of the child and the Irish mother is recognised.

That is until she gets home to Ireland.

In this country, the woman who gave birth to the child is legally viewed as the mother.

While legislation is currently being teased in the Oireachtas to address the matter, people did question Ms Wheatley's decision to bring Ms Holub to Ireland.

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'War is war, there are no rules'

"There were people who said Cathy think this through. Is it going to leave your children in a precarious situation, what is going to happen?

"War is war, there are no rules, and, in this situation, I could not think of anything except for Ivana and her children and if that left us in a vulnerable situation, so be it we would deal with it".

The precarious situation reinforces how lucky both women are for the relationship they have built up - they are both clear that Cathy is the mother of the twins.

Ms Wheatley, who is a spokesperson for Irish Families Through Surrogacy, said they are not the only ones in the position.

She said: "Lots of families have brought their surrogates over, if they want to come over.

"When you do a pregnancy partnership with somebody and they give you the most precious gift anyone can give you, everything else goes out the window.

"Your hearts are connected, you absolutely want the best for them just like they wanted the best for you when they carried your children."

'We have a special friendship'

Ms Wheatley said she trusts that the Government will work on the legislation and that there is a way forward.

"Anyone looking at me and Ivana and our children, you can see quite clearly, we've a beautiful relationship, we've a special partnership, but Ivana's not the children's mother. I am."

Ms Holub is aware of the legal position, but as a surrogate, she is clear of what her role was.

"I gave them life and my health and it's great that these children have such good parents. I'm very happy for them. I don't understand the negative position of people," she said.

"I didn't kill anybody, I didn't steal anything, I just give birth. Why is it bad?"

As she speaks, five-year-old Oleg comes into the room. He and his big brother Sergii, who is seven, have started at a local school, Scoil Niocláis Naofa, where principal Michael Moran and the children have welcomed them.

Ukraine family services in Kildare/Wicklow have also supported them locally.

School has helped the boys who really miss their father. He remained in Ukraine to help and was happy once the children and Ms Holub were safe.

All five children have had to adjust to the changes that have occurred in their lives, including the twins.

The two-bedroom cottage, which once was home to a family of four, now houses three adults and five children, which Ms Wheatley describes as "mayhem but amazing".

The arrival of Ms Holub and the children has coincided with the arrival of lambs, which are keeping everybody occupied and distracted.

Elsie Ted and Oleg with the newborn lambs

Neither woman could have foreseen that childbirth and a war would result in their two families living under one roof.

Ms Holub worries about her family in Ukraine including her husband. She wells up when she speaks about them.

"It's hard to know that my mother and my family are still in Ukraine, but every time I look at the sky I know that the land is different, but the sky is one.

"I pray for peace in Ukraine and hope that everything will be good," she said.

For Ms Wheatley, this is now her time to give back.

She said: "People ask me why we did this, why did we go for her. We didn't have a choice, Ivana's part of our family, we would have done whatever we could to protect her.

"The way I see it is Ivana carried my family, she carried my babies and so now it is my time to carry her family and that's what we're going to do.

"We're going to make sure that Ivana and her family are safe, and they have everything that they need."