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Mother and son from Dublin trying to escape from Ukraine

Classmates of Emil at Castle Park in Dalkey make Ukrainian flags in class
Classmates of Emil at Castle Park in Dalkey make Ukrainian flags in class

A mother and son who travelled from Ireland to Kharkiv in Ukraine are trying to escape the country after going there during the mid-term break.

Marina Golodnikova has been documenting on social media her attempt to get herself and her son Emil, who is in senior infants at a south Dublin primary school, to safety.

Marina, who works in a tech company in Dublin, travelled to Kharkiv in Ukraine with her son in late February to visit her mother, days before the Russian invasion.

Since then, she has been posting updates on Instagram and TikTok about their experiences of curfews, military attacks and taking shelter during the assault on her home city.

Marina Golodnikova and Emil pictured in Dun Laoghaire (Image: @marusidz)

In recent days, she has documented the family's journey as they travel by car to try and get to the border and return home to Ireland.

Among those closely following the story are Emil's classmates and his teachers at Castle Park School in Dalkey.

Last week, they had a two-hour online call with Emil, during which he had to leave for a time because of the sound of bombing.

His classmate, six-year-old Ailbhe Frisell, described what the call was like. "He said he's good but there was a noise and when it went on, he had to leave the house quickly," she said.

Emil's classmates Audrey Linehan, Harry Wyeth and Ailbhe Frisell

Having a classmate caught up in the conflict has made the war "very real" for his five and six-year-old friends, according to their teacher Olivia Hennesy.

She said she has had to explain what is happening in Ukraine to them in an age-appropriate way.

Harry Wyeth (6) shared his understanding of what he's been seeing and hearing on the news.

"He went there for his holidays but he woke up with the sound of bombs because the war is in Ukraine"

"Emil's in Ukraine and this Putin guy from Russia wants to take over Ukraine for a bigger country, even though Russia is a big country. Its really bad. You just can't take over someone home like that. They went to bed and they woke up to the sound of bombs in the middle of the night," he said.

Olivia Kevans (6) explains why people are fleeing Ukraine.

"The President of Russia has started a war with Ukraine so most of the people in Ukraine have moved out. That's the same with Emil. He's in a car and he's driving to a safer place".

Six-year-old Ryan Moran describes how his best friend is now being driven home with his mum, granny and two cats, saying: "He went there for his holidays but he woke up with the sound of bombs because the war is in Ukraine"

Six-year-old Mattie Hayes said: "There's a war. It means that people are fighting".

Emil's classmates Olivia Kevans, Ryan Moran and Mattie Hayes

Class teacher Olivia Hennessey said most of the children know that there is fighting going on.

"We explained that there's people fighting over some territory and we didn't go into any detail really, we just said that it is a sad situation and that some people had to leave their homes and that they're going to be moving to different countries.

"They're very understanding and they seem to have a good knowledge of what's going on. You can't avoid it," she added.

But she says the students are not worried about the situation.

"If you ask them, the first thing they say is Emil is safe and we've obviously avoided talking about things like bombings or anything like that but some of the children are aware of it.

"So we have had to answer any questions in any way we could, in a very age-appropriate way"

Class teacher Olivia Hennessey said most of the children know that there is fighting going on

Stephen McKernan, Headmaster at the school, says he has been taking a balanced approach to explaining the issue of war to the wider school community and that his focus has been to ensure the students are feeling safe.

"Obviously it is a shock for any school to have a child who is caught up in a war situation. Its a very difficult concept to deal with. Its important that they're hearing a balanced viewpoint.

"My focus has been what it means to be a peaceful people and teaching children about the importance of dialogue, mutual understanding and also appreciating that people have different opinions, people have different experiences and with that teach a model of understanding of each other".

What is happening in Ukraine and the implications of the Russian invasion are difficult enough issues for adults to understand and grapple with. So what do experts think is the best approach when it comes to explaining the war to children?

Psychotherapist Joanna Fortune says adults need to engage with their children about what is happening in Ukraine.

"Be open, honest and developmentally appropriate. Check what they know, clarify confusion and then check in on their feelings about it, how is this sitting with you. This isn't a one-off conversation you will return to it in days to come and maybe weeks to come," she says.

Psychotherapist Joanna Fortune says overall its not an easy topic to explain to children

She added: "Its going to be a different conversation depending on the child and their capacity but also on their stage of development and within one family that might mean you’re having multiple conversations about the same thing in different ways. Under sevens generally we would suggest really limiting their exposure to such news events as best we can.

"That being said, we are very aware that even very young children are aware of what's going on due to the heightened nature of coverage so it is about keeping it short, sweet and simple for them. So what I'm saying is truthful but developmentally appropriate. Older children, middle childhood aged 8-12 years we should assume that they know something but also assume that they need help understanding what they know.

"So start by being curious, 'tell me the story as you know it'. Then clarify misinformation they might have and make sure you check in how they are feeling with all of this. Teenagers you'll have a more opened detailed conversation with them but they're still going to look for support and guidance from you," she added.

She says overall its not an easy topic to explain to children

"I think this is one of those times in parenting when there just isn't a nice neat script to follow and I think we have to start with checking in with ourselves and our own thoughts and feelings about what's happening, as that's going to be what guides what we say and how we say it."

Marina and Emil are now half-way across Ukraine and in her latest social media the strain of that journey is starting to show.

They hope to reach the border in the coming days and to get back to their life in Dublin as soon as possible.

At Castle Park school, the children say they cannot wait to be reunited with their classmate.

Six-year-old Audrey Linehan says: "Its gonna take him a long time to go back home. There's a war. He's gonna come back to school and we have everything decorated and we are going to bring some sweets and then we are going to have a party"

"But he's on his way, we are praying he will be home with us in the next week or so"

The staff have bought Emil a bundle of his favourite computer games to give him as a gift when he gets home, and in the meantime Ms Hennesy and others anxiously monitor social media to see what progress the family are making through Ukraine

"Its very worrying. I'm checking my instagram every two hours to see where she is and how she is doing. Its just such a horrific situation for a little boy I see every day, a gorgeous little boy, to think he's going through this.

"But he's on his way, we are praying he will be home with us in the next week or so".