December and January are the busiest months for domestic violence refuges.
The Government has committed to providing 280 safe spaces for victims of Domestic, Sexual and Gender Based Violence (DSGBV) by 2026, however, those currently operating are under considerable pressure.
Last year, Saoirse Domestic Violence Services was unable to provide refuge to 72% of victims. Some 59 calls for refuge were unmet in December alone, due to a lack of availability.
When people do manage to gain refuge, the domestic violence charity says there is a the lack of step down (or as they term it 'step forward') facilities for victims leaving refuges, resulting in homelessness.
What began as a family weekend away in 2023 ended in horror for Jennie and her son, whose identities RTÉ News are protecting.
While holidaying in Waterford, they returned to their camper van after a day out.
As their 18-month-old son played on the floor, Jennie's partner tried to be intimate and she said no.
He slapped her, told her she was useless (verbal abuse was the norm) and goaded her for not pulling her underwear down.
Jennie pushed him away. He grabbed her, brought to the bed and started punching her in the face.
When she put her hands up to protect herself, he started punching her in her stomach. It was two and a half months since she had had a hysterectomy due to cancer.
"I couldn't breathe and I could hear the baby scream. And so I actually bit him, I bit him on the arm and that made him stop," she said.
She picked up her son and her partner grabbed her by the hair. He threw Jennie, her son and her dog out of the camper van.
It was 9pm at night. Jenny and her toddler, both in their pyjamas, watched as the camper van drove away.
A female bouncer working nearby took them to her car and she urged Jenny to call gardaí.
But Jenny had called the guards over a previous incident, which had resulted in the abuse getting worse.
The female bouncer pointed out that Jennie was in the middle of Waterford, alone, and that they would have to make the call.
Gardaí arrived and brought her to the station, but Jennie refused to give a statement.
"I was afraid. I just said 'Look, can you just bring me home? And they wouldn't do that. They wanted to bring me to a shelter in Waterford or ring my family. My auntie ended up driving down and collecting me and we stayed in her house for the night," she said.
The next day, her partner acted like he could not remember anything and expressed remorse.
"I had to have my location on my phone. I wasn't allowed to go spend any time with my friends. If I did go to see my family, I'd have to be back at a certain time to have his dinner on the table. If I didn't, I'd be verbally abused"
She went home, but he became aggressive again.
"He said that I was never allowed to see my family again. He started throwing the baby's toys in front of the baby, upsetting the baby," she recalled.
"Then he told me that the next day we were going to be going to a solicitor and that I was going to be signing over my rights to our son to him. So I was obviously in panic mode. I felt stupid that I was after coming back."
That night, while she was scrolling on her phone, an ad popped up for Saoirse Domestic Violence Services, which provides refuge for victims. This was her way out.
"The minute he left for work that morning, I rang them and thankfully they had a place for me and my son."
She had to be at the refuge in an hour and a half, so she grabbed what she could.
"The girls were so lovely, they were so welcome and I was obviously all over the place, but they were very non-judgmental," Jennie said.
Jennie spent four weeks in the refuge run by Saoirse, and got a protection order against her partner who had started threatening her life.
What happened next may be difficult to comprehend, but it is not uncommon.
Jennie returned to her partner.
He agreed to go to couples' counselling. They had two sessions together and two sessions individually, after which the counsellor concluded that Jennie's partner had anger issues.
It was suggested that he work on himself. He never returned.
Around this time, Jennie also went to court with the man, who had threatened her life while she was in the Saoirse refuge and got his charges dropped.
Once they left court, "the mask just completely dropped".
"I had to have my location on my phone. I wasn't allowed to go spend any time with my friends. If I did go to see my family, I'd have to be back at a certain time to have his dinner on the table. If I didn't, I'd be verbally abused," she said.
"There was one day, in particular, it was actually my birthday, and I found out he had cheated on me. He was screaming at me because I confronted him about it. And then he picked up a glass and said he was going to smash the glass in my face."
Their son, who was just over two years old at this point, pleaded with his father to stop. At this point in his young life he had become a referee between his parents.
His father reacted by slapping and verbally abusing the toddler.
The physical abuse continued over the following weeks.
With her son in danger and witness to so much physical and verbal abuse, Jennie knew it was the end.
She left her partner for good on the eighth attempt.
Jennie moved in with family members but remained in contact with one of Saoirse's staff members who she called "about ten times a day". The support was invaluable.
Years of abuse led her to become a shadow of the person she once was.
"I was broken. I was completely broken. I didn't know what to do. It was like I couldn't even think for myself," she said.
Jennie was fortunate to get refuge with Saoirse, however, the domestic violence service cannot accommodate everyone in need.
The service helpline receives over 3,000 calls a year from women seeking support, information and for accommodation.
Some 59 calls for refuge went unmet last December due to a lack of availability and Saoirse is not alone in that regard.
Around 70% of the calls cannot be accommodated due to a lack of refuge according to CEO Allison Graham.
"It's not just us, it's nationally," Ms Graham said. "So we would try and offer support through our outreach service.
"Sometimes it's around going through court and support with that. But we do like to let women know that we are here 24/7 if they need us any time.
Christmas is a particularly busy time of the year.
She added: "It's not a time that families particularly want to have to leave their home, but unfortunately it's a time when they quite often do have to, just to seek that safety away from the abuse."
At the back of the refuge that we visit are rooms for children and teenagers where they can play and chill.
We are greeted by the service's child and youth worker Aisling Conaghy, who has the job of providing wrap-around services, including Saoirse's Inspire Family Care Project, for children in the refuge.
"Emotionally they're very affected," Ms Conaghy said. "It's a grievance as well because they have to leave their home, they might have to leave their school, everything is upended and changed and that is very hard for children because they need routine, they need consistency. So I suppose that's where we jump in to support a care plan for each child that comes into refuge,
For those who are in the refuge over Christmas, the staff make an effort to make it as magical as possible, including showing the children which chimney Santa will come down.
"They're worried about gifts and their traditions, so we link in with Mum and see what would they usually do with Christmas," Ms Conaghy said. "What is her plan in relation to gifts, did she have to leave them there? [in the house she fled]."
Members of the public are also very good at this time of the year by providing donations, including new toys, according to Ms Conaghy.
It is well known that more domestic violence refuges are required in the State.
In 2022 the Government launched its Zero Tolerance strategy for DSGBV, which aims to double refuge spaces to 282 by next year.
But the first annual report of the statutory body, Cuan, established last year to create more refuges, said planning, funding and coordination challenges had impacted the pace of refuge accommodation development for victims.
While the creation of new refuges is slow, Saoirse staff are now witnessing a problem regarding the lack of step down (step forward facilities) for victims.
Support and recovery manager Melissa Agnew says the housing crisis has significantly impacted the sector.
"When we get over that initial crisis, when the courts come in and we have the orders and we've empowered her enough where she's ready to move on for the rest of her life... how do you do that when homelessness is looming over your head?"
In July 2025, women made up 40% of the national homeless figures, according to a recent report by the National Women's Council Ireland.
It said women with children reported being "traumatised" by having to bring their children into homelessness and into contact with homeless services.
Despite the difficulties, Saoirse wants victims to know that there is hope after abusive relationships and that domestic violence services are there to help, particularly at this time of the year.
Jennie is grateful to have the support of her family.
She and her son are now thriving in a world that is free from control and fear.
"I left him eight times. The eighth time was the time I actually stayed away. Fast forward a year later, I'm with my family, they're so supportive.
"I can go to bed when I want to go to bed. I can eat when I want to eat. I can come home when I want to come home," Jennie said.
"For me and my son, there's no shouting in our environment anymore. Everything is just so much more relaxed now. I just realise how toxic it was."
If you have been impacted by this story, contact Saoirse Domestic Violence Services: 24-hour helpline 1800 911 221 or helpline@sdvs.ie
