A 48-year-old man has been jailed for eight years for raping and coercively controlling his wife.
Sergio Correia who has an address on Front Street, Ardara in Co Donegal was found guilty by a jury earlier this year.
His former wife, Kathleen Correia waived her right to anonymity, saying people should not be afraid to speak out if something bad happens behind closed doors.
The jury heard that Kathleen Correia met her husband in Portugal in 2006. They married in 2012. Judge Melanie Greally said they encountered some challenges in their marriage early on and Sergio Correia's expectations in relation to the frequency of sexual intercourse was an issue.
In 2018, they moved to Portugal, but this move was not a success and the family moved back to Ireland.
After their return from Portugal, the judge said Correia was angered by a deterioration in the family’s finances and living conditions and blamed his wife for this. He was also concealing a drug habit from her. He was moody and irritable the judge said. He regarded sex as a right and if his wife did not meet his demands for daily sex, he said she was not a proper wife and threatened her that she would have to meet his demands if she wanted the marriage to last.
The trial heard he would tell his wife "you got away with it last night, you won’t get away with it tonight", if she did not have sex with him.
In 2019, the court heard, Ms Correia suffered a severe decline in her mental health. She lost weight and began suffering from an eating disorder. The allegations of rape came to light when she engaged with mental health services.
The jury found Correia guilty of two counts of rape in 2019. In both cases, the court heard, he anally raped his wife, when she had repeatedly told him that she did not want it to happen and even though she told him to stop and that he was hurting her.
Judge Greally said the effects of the sexual offences and the emotional manipulation were set out with eloquence by Ms Correia in her victim impact statement. She said the statement conveyed Ms Correia’s profound sense of grief for a life she believed she would share with her husband and how her home became a place of fear where instead of feeling loved and protected she felt unsafe and anxious.
Ms Correia told the court she had wanted a loving partner and to share their lives together, raising their children and working through the ups and downs of family life together. Instead of that, she said her husband coerced, controlled, abused and raped her.
She said no matter how many times she said "no", her husband’s control and demand for sex took over their marriage. And she said he had no regard for her feelings or how she was impacted.
She described how her husband crushed her soul and broke her as a person. Ms Correia said the ripple effects of his actions had caused so much pain and devastation and continued to do so.
She said describing to the couple’s older children what was going on involved "the hardest conversations" she has ever had in her life. And she said it was "agony" during the trial, having to relive the horrendous details of the rapes and abuse in a roomful of strangers.
Judge Greally said she was taking into account the profoundly harmful effects of Correia’s actions on his wife and young family.
She said he showed little insight into his behaviour or its harmful effects and a report showed he had a high level of self pity.
A probation report said he could continue his offending behaviour in future relationships if he did not address his behaviour.
She said there was an immense breach of trust involved in the offending and she took into account the degrading and humiliating nature of the conduct involved. In relation to the coercive control, she said it went on for nine months and involved anger fuelled emotional and psychological abuse.
In mitigation, the judge said Correia co operated with gardaí, he had no previous convictions and there was some evidence of remorse.
The court heard that Correia wrote a letter to his wife in which he said he sincerely apologised for his wrong doing during the last years of their marriage.
He said he understood Ms Correia may never forgive him. He said he had failed as a husband and father and the effect of his past decisions weighed heavily on his whole family.
The court heard Correia had been treated for a type of cancer and had also made a suicide attempt.
Judge Greally sentenced him to nine and a half years in prison but suspended the final year and a half on condition that he comply with probation directions and that he take part in treatment programmes for domestic and sexual violence and addiction.
The judge told Ms Correia she wished her the best for the future.
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'My hope is the truth will set me free'
Outside court, Ms Correia said it was a day of mixed emotions. She felt relief she said, but mainly a huge sense of sadness about what had happened and its impact on her and her children.
She said the decision to waive her anonymity had been a difficult decision but "it was the right one". Ms Correia said the years spent silent and concealing the truth, had brought feelings of isolation, shame and guilt and she said if she remained anonymous she would continue to carry those feelings.
Ms Correia said the saying "what happens behind closed doors, should stay behind closed doors", was wrong and damaging for victims and people should not be afraid to speak out. She said there should be no stigma or shame for those who had experienced rape, sexual violence or domestic violence.
She said she wanted other women to know it was not acceptable to live in an abusive relationship or marriage.
"After years of darkness and isolation, my hope is the truth will set me free," she said.
Inspector Yvonne Martin of the Mayo, Longford, Roscommon Garda Divisional Services Protective Unit said she wanted to pay tribute to Ms Correia’s "remarkable bravery".
She said Ms Correia’s experience sheds light on what others were dealing with behind closed doors in homes all around Ireland.
Inspector Martin told those suffering that "it is not your duty to accept any degree of suffering inflicted by your husband or wife" and she said "you do not give up your right to consent and to your own autonomy" through marriage.
She said as an investigator, she wanted to speak to any person of any gender or sexuality who had experienced domestic or intimate partner abuse to tell them that there could be a life beyond it.
