In a week when there will be much attention on Leaving Cert results, Brian Pennie hopes his remarkable life story will "sprinkle some hope" for students who are struggling to work out what their next move is.
The 45-year-old talks openly about how he turned his life around, from being a heroin addict to having a PhD in Psychology and Neuroscience from Trinity College, Dublin.
"Growing up, college was always out of sight for me", he said, adding that the bubble he was living in was challenging.
"People from my area just didn't go to college. When I was in school, I was really struggling with anxiety and struggling to regulate my emotions, I was struggling with agitations and I didn’t know what they were, I felt stuck, I felt lost.
"By the time I did the Leaving Cert, I was using hard drugs. Instead of going to college, I ended up in 15 years of heroin addiction," Brian explained.
Brian said his addiction "turned into a juggernaut and stopped me going in the direction I wanted to go in" but he did not consider himself a "proper addict".
He said: "I didn’t think I could live in a world without drugs ... I was a 'functional addict' for a lot of that time. Self-deception is a core element of addiction.
"I didn’t think I was a real addict because I'd a job, I went on holidays, I had a car, I didn’t hang around with 'proper addicts', but I was doing heroin every day.
"I always believed tomorrow, next week, next month I'd get away from the drugs.
"I lost everything, I got to the stage where I was in a lot of debt, I was on death's door personally. I’d lost every relationship in my life, the only angle left was to try to get clean."
A near-death experience changed Brian’s perspective on life and he entered a detox centre. On 8 October 2013, he had his first day of being clean.
While undergoing treatment, Brian became "blown away" by the psychologist who was working with him.
"I wanted to learn why I was so broken, why do I now feel so energised now, and how do I help people who are in the same boat? It was that curiosity and drive to learn about the human mind that helped me.
"I wrote it in my journal at that time 'maybe I can go to college'."
And he did.
In 2014, Brian embarked on a psychology degree from Maynooth University. In 2017, he went to Trinity College where he studied for a masters degree in psychology and neuroscience, and from 2018 to 2021 he completed his PhD.
Brian then founded his company 'Change is Possible' where he speaks publicly on topics including self-awareness, resilience and positive mental health. He has also published a book which tells his life story.
"The work that I do, I enjoy it, it fills me up and thankfully I get paid for that job as well, I found that path by following my heart," he said.
Two years ago, he began mentoring a group of secondary school pupils at Killinarden Community School in Tallaght in Dublin.
He said: "The skills we worked on were around communication, regulating emotions, awareness of thinking patterns.
"Some of these younger kids didn't believe they could go to college, get a Leaving Cert, actually study, because they were struggling so much with anxiety, procrastination, and anger from the challenges in their own lives.
"We were trying to break down those walls and stress test the assumptions underpinning their beliefs. The biggest thing that came up again and again was a lack of self-belief and confidence."
This year’s Leaving Cert results are out on Friday and Brian said students should "enjoy the reward if they get the results they want".
"For the students who don’t get the results they want, it could be the best thing that ever happened to them. Adversity can be fuel for growth.
"It’s not all about getting an amazing Leaving Cert. What is more important is focusing on getting yourself in a position where you feel well, you’re emotionally stable, psychologically and emotionally secure, these are the traits you’ll need to live a successful life, whatever success is for you.
"It’s not all about academic pursuits or success in terms of money, it’s about internal success."
If you have been affected by issues raised in this story, please visit: www.rte.ie/helplines.
