Sarah Kiely Lavelle speaks to Jessica O'Sullivan, Editor of One Fab Day, to find out how wedding guests can cut costs the right way this wedding season.
There were 20,348 weddings registered in Ireland in 2024, so chances are you might have been invited to at least one of them.
Celebrating close friends and family members’ weddings is always special, but when you’re invited to several in one year, the costs can add up quickly.
In Ireland, the average cost for a guest to attend a wedding is estimated at €1,200, around 33% of the average Irish salary before tax.
While celebrating your nearest and dearest’s big day is always such a joyful date in the diary to have, when multiple weddings land in one year, those invites can arrive through the letterbox like an unexpected bill.
And it’s not just the big day itself, given that hen and stag parties can be full-scale international events, we can find ourselves on three-day weekends in Paris or Lisbon in matching t-shirts and an overdraft.
It's no wonder guests can find themselves struggling to cover all the expenses that come with being a good friend and attendee.
We asked wedding expert and Editor of One Fab Day, Jessica O'Sullivan, to share her advice on how to save money while still celebrating your friends and family’s special day.
Envelope etiquette
A recent survey found that 69% of couples planning weddings reported that the rising cost of living has affected their budget this year, resulting in increased financial pressure for both those getting married and their guests.
When deciding how much to give as a wedding gift in 2025, cash is the preferred option for most couples. Traditionally, guests often gave an amount that would cover the cost of their meal. According to Jessica, most people give €150 per person, which covers the meal and provides a gift on top.
It’s worth noting that while weddings are expensive to attend, they’re also costly for those throwing them. "Couples are also so generous on their wedding day, very often that you don’t have to buy a drink until the band starts. From their point of view, they’re not just giving you a meal; they’re also providing entertainment and your drinks for the day. If there's a day two, they might have a BBQ on which they’ll be paying for too," Jessica explains.
Celebrate without the splurge
Some weddings you just can’t miss, but you can toe the line of celebrating those you love and putting yourself under financial stress or taking on debt. There are ways to wish a couple well while looking after your own commitments. Skipping the hairdresser, wearing an outfit you already own but feel special in, and car-pooling to the venue could save hundreds of euros.
Jessica has seen a huge increase in people opting out of staying the night at a wedding and choosing to drive instead.
"I actually did this myself. I didn’t have any alcohol for the day and decided to drive instead. The venue was about €350 a night, and you’re going to bed at 2am, so it’s not like you’re getting to enjoy the room itself at all. I think it’s important that people realise they don’t have to opt into every element of going to a wedding, you don’t have to do everything, and you can cherry-pick the things you can afford. The minimum is, obviously, the gift."
Declining gracefully
If you find yourself in a position where you have multiple weddings to attend in one year, you might need to say no to some of them.
Oftentimes, this can leave the invitee feeling anxious or guilty in the build-up to declining. However, most couples actually prefer their attendees to be upfront about whether they can attend, as it saves confusion and avoids further inconveniences down the line.
Jessica assures us: "Most people think the bride is going to care when they actually don’t. We tend to catastrophise the idea that they’re going to hate us and be so disappointed, when in fact, most people just want to get on with their planning.
"If it’s an Irish wedding, a lot of venues [ask couples] to commit to taking a certain amount of bedrooms when signing their contract so if they’ve allocated you a room and you don’t want to stay just tell them straight away so they can give that room to the next person who might end up in a B&B down the road.’’
So, how long should you wait to decline?
‘’If you’ve gotten the invite three to four months before the wedding, get back straight away; if it’s six months before a wedding, you probably have a grace period of two months. It’s about giving them enough time to invite the next round of people. Jess advises.
If you are still unable to attend for any reason, you can make your loved ones feel special and let them know you’re happy and excited for them.
"It's always lovely to send a really nice text or card on the day, or send a bottle of champagne to the room to let them know you’re thinking about them on that date.’’
A small gesture of thoughtfulness can make all the difference in wishing the happy couple well from afar.
