For many, the world is divided between those who harbour a deep respect for themed parties and those who shun them altogether.
As someone who is never organised enough to plan an outfit more than 15 minutes before I leave the house for a party, themes always added stress. That is, until my twin forced a joint Riverdance-themed 30th upon me this year.
Her lifelong adoration for Jean Butler is truly admirable, as is her knack for arts and crafts. She put her foot down, and the next thing I knew, we were all wearing Irish dancing pom shoes and draping paper Celtic swirls from the ceiling.
There was an embarrassingly overpriced Michael Flatley foil balloon, trad instruments, Irish dancing trophies from the early 2000s and a lot of midnight blue velvet. Men wore their girlfriends' silk blouses and dug out their old black waistcoats from adolescence. It was an evening of commitment to shunning Irish Catholic gender norms.
For a close friend’s 30th on Inis Oírr two years ago, our group dressed up as the 'eras’ of her 20s (Tumblr blogger era, Berlin/Berghain era, boho era, etc) like some sort of deranged house of mirrors. Unsurprisingly, she was disturbed but ultimately touched by the effort.
But what is it that makes themed parties such a fun escape? For many, it’s a creative outlet that removes the discomfort that some feel in regards to age-related anxiety.
I spoke to a few theme-fanatics about what appeals to them about a themed party. You can’t have the fear about turning 30 if you’re too busy painting your body green for a Shrek swamp gaff.
Molly Cantwell: "Mum and I have fun looking on Pinterest together to bring her suggestions to life"
"I’ve always done themed parties: my mum was a big advocate throughout my life," Galway-based journalist Molly Cantwell tells me. "My 16th was Disney and Alice in Wonderland themed, and my 18th was The Great Gatsby/Prohibition era. A friend of mine even cut her hair into a bob to make sure she fit that theme. She went all in!"
"When I was 12 or 13, I had a ‘Bollywood’ theme except it was Mollywood. One of my mum’s best friends is Indian, so we made food together and she lent me a sari. It was a fun cultural experience as well, and I remember performing a dance," she laughs.
"One of my favourites was a movie theme around my 17th birthday: we did Pulp Fiction and Rocky Horror Picture Show. Mum always convinces me to do it and I always give in!"
For Molly, bringing themes to life was always a family affair.
"My uncle’s wife is a wedding planner, so she always has amazing ideas for parties," she describes. "Mum and I have so much fun looking on Pinterest together to bring her suggestions to life. For my 30th, I definitely want a huge party.
"People love a bit of fun, especially with everything going on in the world right now, and themes are a way to hone in on that type of escape. It’s just really nice to see everyone get behind a harmless trend!"
Ciara Tobin: "I love themed parties because you're committing to having a good time. You have to try to be present, in a way"
For 27-year-old Ciara Tobin, a love for all things themed started while in college in the US.
"I grew up in Florida, and my friend Kirby used to throw themed nights of the week. There was everything from sleepover-themed pre-drinks with blankets on the ceiling to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory parties. We even had a Hurricane theme once, with temporary tattoos.
"I graduated college during Covid time, and everything was so depressing. I was at home with my parents and younger siblings. Every Friday, to make things a bit fun, we did a ‘Fri-yay’ theme. There was Nicki Minaj night, Goth night, Drag night, Fairy night. I spent all the money that I was making on Fri-yay nights, but it got me through that time."
"When I moved to Dublin, my first apartment was in Rialto," Ciara recalls. "I had only been living there for about two months, but I decided to do a Shrek-themed party (cut out and all). Something consistent is that I always spend too much money on it. I didn’t know many people, but the ones who turned up went hard!
"I was so touched when someone made a full Magic Mirror costume from cardboard. People making an effort were so sweet. I love themed parties because you’re committing to having a good time. You have to try to be present."
From the Shrek success came a community dedicated to creative themed nights.
"For my birthday party, I had made more friends by that stage and really wanted to throw an alien-themed night with a friend," Ciara adds.
"My new friends came in full alien drag, which meant a lot. That party started a running series with my group. The next one we threw was a Brat-themed party. The hype was definitely there. We stuck A.G. Cook and SOPHIE’s faces onto the aliens to reuse the old props, and I dressed up as Charli XCX from the ‘365’ video."
By that stage, Ciara and co were professionals.
"For the next one, we made a committee for it that met weekly. We had ‘Heaven, Hell and Garden of Eden’ as the theme. Heaven was the top floor, Hell was the dancefloor, and the Garden was an outdoor area. It healed a lot of Catholic guilt!
The next one was ‘Fate and Fortune’ themed, with tarot cards and Wheel of Fortune featuring. I loved seeing the plans come alive. Two friends dressed up as the devil with red body paint. The entire house had blood-red marks on the walls the next day, like a crime scene!"
Community is a core part of the group’s approach, undertaking crafting sessions pre-party and sharing equipment between friends and acquaintances.
"We always had our friends on the decks, controlling the music and the vibes. The more we threw, the more people pitched in to help or DJ’ed for free, like Andrew and Bill from the Tender queer party crew giving us lights to put up. It bonded everyone together.
"The last party was a medieval murder mystery theme, where everyone had characters and motives. It was held in a smaller space decorated to look like a castle. I died from poisoning halfway through and came back as a ghost! We made a guillotine to execute whoever did the murder."
Much like for Molly, the call to embrace silliness in such a serious world is hard to resist.
"Themed parties allow you to express yourself. There’s also so much inspiration online these days, which makes it easier to get ideas. I honestly can’t wait to throw the next one! I feel like people are feeling less self-conscious nowadays, and we need more silliness in the world."
Next time you’re feeling anxious about a big birthday, just fire up the Pinterest account.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ.
