Taryn de Vere writes about entering a new stage of her life and pushing herself out of her comfort zone.
Since moving to Dublin, with my teenage and grown up children living seperately, I've been trying to figure out who this child-free version of me is - and how this person spends their time. I’ve got that just-retired, new-lease-of-life vibe (only I still have to work).
Not being a full-time parent anymore has freed up time and energy, creating space for me to think about what I’d like to do. For the first time in over two decades, I’m able to follow my inclinations. The only trouble is, I’m not yet sure what those inclinations are.
I enjoy telling stories, so I started going to a few spoken word events to suss out the Dublin scene. I’ve performed a few times in Derry and Donegal, however, I’ve largely performed before what I’d call 'warm’ audiences: people who know me already.
I greeted the idea of performing in front of strangers with some trepidation, fully anticipating the possibility that I'd be terrible, but I figured it was worth finding out - even if I got booed off the stage.
The next issue I faced was how to pitch myself; all the spoken word events I attended were poet-heavy, and I’m (generally) not a poet. I settled on ‘storytelling and performance art’ as a way to describe my piece and signed up for an Open Mic.
I’d never performed at an Open Mic night before and it was all rather terrifying. I sat in the audience mentally asking myself why on earth I thought any of this was a good idea. When it was my turn, I set my phone on an amp, hit record, and got up to shoot my shot.
Thankfully, the audience laughed when I hoped they would laugh. Emboldened by this smallest of praise, I shared a clip from my performance on social media.
One of my Insta friends commented that she'd always wanted to try stand-up but was too scared. I was quick to jump in and tell her that my piece wasn’t stand-up. She replied with, "I wonder where I got that idea from…"
Her comment made me realise that my piece was largely stand-up, but that I’d been too scared to call it that. I think part of it stems from my perception that I’m not a naturally funny person, but I can write funny stories, given time and space. The other part is I’d be mortified if I made the bold claim that I’m a comedian and then no one found my material funny.
I much prefer over-delivering to over-promising. The problem is that that idea keeps me in a very 'safe’ zone. A friend reminded me that the important thing as a performer is to find your audience, but that in order to do that they need to know what you’re offer is.
So the next step in my plan to leap outside of my comfort zone is to sign up to an Open Mic night as a stand-up.
The thought of it terrifies me, but I've discovered that when we’re terrified of something that feels like a huge leap - it’s the very thing to say yes to.
Here’s a few ideas on how to muster the courage to try something new:
- Interrogate your feelings towards the thing you feel afraid to try. A pros and cons list can be helpful.
- If you feel scared - is it the kind of scary that you know will help you grow as a person? If so - go for it! If it’s the kind of scared that makes you feel deeply unsafe then it’s probably not a good idea. Only you will know what’s truly right for you.
- Try swapping "What’s the worst that could happen?" for, "What’s the best that could happen?" This helps you to open up to possibilities other than doom and fear.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ.
