As any bride or husband-to-be will intimately know, weddings are expensive events – something many of us find out only after the 'save the dates' have been sent out.
We know all about the tradition of saving three months' wages on an engagement ring, but unless you're in a position to plan a wedding yourself, there will be many areas that seem staggeringly pricy and, let's be honest, possibly not worth it depending on the couple.
With the average wedding now costing upwards of €30,000, having averaged around €29,624 in 2020 according to a survey by Weddings Online, sticking to certain traditions can set a couple back thousands.
Many reported in that survey that they struggled to keep a hold on the budget once planning started, with 43% of couples surveyed saying they had a hard time staying within budget, with 13% spending over 5-10,000 more than they had planned to.
Wedding planner Tara Fay told RTÉ News that wedding costs were "getting closer to €30,000 or €32,000 for a wedding in 2023 or 2024".
For Luize and Jack Phelan, college sweethearts, the fuss was never going to be worth it. After getting engaged they took the plunge and eloped to the scene where they first met years ago: Lahinch. Although the cost of a wedding was undoubtedly a factor, Luize told me that they were always the sort of people to elope anyway.
"When we were engaged and even before we were engaged, our family kind of always assumed that we would elope anyway because we're just those kind of people", she said. "I don't really like the attention."
However, when they did get engaged they planned a small wedding in Slovenia for 2020 with just close friends and family, totalling 25 people.
And then Covid hit, shuttering not only venues and vendors but the possibility of travel and seeing those friends and family at all.
The couple decided to postpone until the following year, but once 2021 rolled around travel restrictions still meant that they couldn't travel to their lake in Slovenia.
By then, the pair were saving for a house and with that saw their priorities shifting. "Each to their own, and some people love big weddings and we just kind of felt it wasn't really worth spending crazy amounts of money", Luize said.
"We knew we just wanted to be the two of us and somewhere outdoors. So basically that means spending zero on the venue. We're really outdoorsy people and we just wanted it to be in a really kind of nice scenic spot outside somewhere."
The pair set about planning their sunrise elopement, and Luize recalled that while there are services that will plan the entire event for you, that was also quite pricy.
"We knew that we wanted to do it ourselves anyway to make it more special. So it was just a matter of finding a location first where we knew it would be nice and where we knew it would be quiet at a certain time of day as well." They booked a photographer and a celebrant and went on the hunt for their wedding outfits.
For Luize, she found a way to get a stunning gown for far less than she'd pay otherwise, while also putting some good back into the world.
"I got my dress in Barnardos up in Dun Laoghaire in the charity shop. I think I went up maybe two months prior with one of my best friends and went in and tried out a few dresses and found it straight away."
The dress, which was old stock donated by a designer rather than a second-hand gown, was a boho-inspired lace design, with a plunging neckline, and suited the setting perfectly. "You're doing something for charity as well, which is great. And it was a lot cheaper."
The couple also got hands-on in designing their own wedding arch, having looked into renting one and finding it to be out of their budget. "We made it ourselves the weekend prior to the wedding, just using artificial flowers, and we stained nice pieces of wood and we put it together ourselves." They kept the piece and plan to hang it in their newborn daughter's nursery.
They started their prep at 5 o'clock in the morning when a local woman came to the couple's converted camper van to do Luize's hair on the side of the beach.
After photos, the pair retreated to their converted camper van for drinks and food and to soak in the moment. Then it was off on their honeymoon - a road trip through Northern Ireland.
As for how their family and friends reacted to the elopement, Luize said they were mostly understanding. "There was a few who obviously would have loved if we had the bigger wedding. I know for a lot of people it is that expectation, you have to do it for the family, to get everyone together."
For them, however, it couldn't have suited them more. "It was just completely stress free, no pressure whatsoever, and just the two of us, and it was just lovely. It was just better. It was better than we could have ever imagined. And I'm kind of glad that the whole bigger wedding fell through in the end. It's all worked out the way we wanted it to."
