When love is in the air, conversations about budgeting and bills may be the last thing on couples’ minds.
But, if you’re expecting to stay together for the long haul, there will be many occasions where you’ll need to talk about money in your relationship.
Lloyd Robson, head of banking at first direct says: "It’s an important topic to get comfortable with early on in your relationship, so you can make sure you easily navigate conversations later on when you’re mapping out your long-term financial future together."
Ahead of Valentine’s Day, Robson has shared his tips for conversations to have, to help make sure you’re in financial harmony as a couple:
1. Find out about each other’s attitudes towards money early on
"Establishing your respective attitudes towards money is important, and doing so early in the relationship will help you establish similarities and differences from the onset," explains Robson.
"Open communication is key here, and doing this sooner rather than later will mean you’re less likely to run into issues later on if there are areas of incompatibility in your money management styles and priorities.
"It’s very normal for people to have different attitudes towards money in a relationship, but understanding differences and areas where you might need to both compromise further down the line is very useful to do.
"It’s also good to establish what kind of lifestyle you both enjoy or aspire to have in the future, so you can get a sense of each other’s priorities early on."
2. Chat about short-term money goals
"One of the best ways to introduce the topic of money into your relationship is to chat about immediate saving and spending priorities," says Robson.
Perhaps you’re saving up for a car, or a trip away, or maybe you’re more focused just on paying day-to-day bills for now.
Robson says that talking about short-term goals also opens up opportunities to discuss any financial commitments that could impact on the relationship in the future, such as any debts.
3. Discuss finances when planning your first couple’s holiday
Booking and budgeting for a first holiday together is often one of the earliest financial commitments that a couple will have.
Robson says it is key for couples to be on the same page in terms of what is affordable.
"When discussing booking a holiday, it’s important to establish exactly how much you can both afford in terms of the cost of the holiday and spending money for the trip itself, then you can make a decision that suits your joint circumstance as a couple."
He adds: "Chatting about holiday budgets is also an opportunity to talk more broadly about financial priorities if the topic hasn’t come up before."
4. Navigate any income disparities
One person in the couple may earn significantly more than the other.
"Having an open conversation about how much disposable income you both have is a good first step in managing this, as a higher income doesn’t always necessarily mean more disposable income," says Robson.
"This will help you map out your joint priorities and understand how this disparity might impact you both in the future, as well as supporting you in making decisions around how you want to split joint expenditures."
5. Consider the impact of ‘life milestones’ on your long-term finances
If you’re planning to buy a home together at some point, or start a family, Robson suggests considering what you want your finances to look like before you take those steps.
For those considering buying a property, it could be worth looking at your credit scores and seeing where they could be improved in good time before applying for a mortgage.
Or, if you’re starting a family and one of you may be planning to go from full-time work to part-time, it’s worth considering how you’ll deal with this change in your joint income as a couple.
Life milestones can have significant financial repercussions and therefore require careful financial planning, says Robson, adding: "So if things are getting serious it’s important to get on the same page so you can then decide how you want to tackle each milestone together."
6. Moving in together
Robson says it’s important to discuss how you’ll manage joint financial responsibilities together, such as bills, mortgage payments or rent.
He says: "While some couples will decide to open a joint account they both use as their main account and ‘merge’ finances altogether, others will choose to keep finances separate, or open a joint account specifically for the bills to come out from.
"There is no right or wrong approach – communication is once again key."
