Figuring out how to balance parenting duties can be tough, but is a written contract the way to go?
While marriage prenups have become more mainstream in recent years, some parents are applying the practice to parenthood, drawing up a mutually agreed upon contract that lists who will change the nappies and who will make the bottles.
Helen Vaughan, from Maynooth Counselling & Psychotherapy, joined Drivetime to discuss why she doesn't think it's the worst idea in some ways.
"I agree a legal binding contract, that wouldn't work, but why not talk about some of the things that will happen after a baby comes?", she said.
I know when it's your first, often you haven't a clue, but talking about things like what school will your child go to, who will pay for what, what chores will you do, how will you divide things in the house, what can one parent do versus what the other parent can do?
Flexibility is key, of course, as no parent knows what kind of baby they will get or how a parent will feel after birth, she added, but she said boundaries are important in parenting.
"You can make deals and broker things and agree boundaries that give you a break, give her a break, but that you can figure these things out. I think the more communication the better. It can't be binding and it can't be legal, I don't think, but there's certain things you can talk about ahead of time, to a degree."
Cormac posited the idea that a baby prenup would help fathers do more tasks at home, which Vaughan agrees with. She said that such an agreement could avoid a situation filled with "resentment and bitterness" in the future, when "a connection is lost and you're almost ready to split up".
"If we could negotiate the division of labour early on you could save [a relationship] before it's at crisis point."
Vaughan flagged breastfeeding as a big part of this, as many women end up doing more parenting duties because they're "literally attached to the child".
"It's just trying to be there for each other, help each other and communicate more."
On whether she would advise clients to create a baby prenup, Vaughan said she would recommend "a form of it".
"Talk as much as you can ahead of time. Do you want your child to go to a Catholic school, do you want your child not to go to a Catholic school? How much are you going to pay for bills, how much am I going to pay? Negotiating some of those key issues that will come up later, just making sure either you've thought about it and hopefully you're both on the same page about it."
