Brenda O'Grady is an ordained inter-faith minister and family celebrant who officiates divorce ceremonies. She joined Jennifer Zamparelli on RTÉ 2FM to discuss the increasingly popular event. Listen back above.
According to Brenda, the intricacies of a divorce ceremony depend on the couple involved and what they want to achieve from it.
One particular event that came to mind was a couple who brought their teenage children to a park in order to celebrate the good times and look forward to their new family dynamic. They even ended the ceremony by singing a very fitting song: We Are Family.
"I try as much as possible to keep it positive and upbeat because not all of the marriage was bad," Brenda explains. "I try and get them to concentrate on the positives and concentrate on the good times."
"One of the things I do is get the couple to stand back to back and take a step forward for each year of their marriage, and when they're doing that, to think of something good from each year. It's very healing."
Brenda began offering divorce ceremonies in 2007 following a career as a divorce mediator. She told Jen that a divorce ceremony is a great way to bring closure to a couple, especially if children are in the picture.
"I think it brings a certainty and an explanation of what has happened and what's going to happen in the future. I usually try and get a couple - if I have mediated the couple - to agree to ground rules for the children and to agree home rules that, when they're in both houses, they would have the same rules."
The divorce ceremony can take place absolutely anywhere and may be as simple as lighting a candle in a quiet space. As well as offering the couple a chance to heal, Brenda says it acts as a clear opportunity for everyone involved to talk through any concerns or raise any questions.
Unlike a marriage, a divorce ceremony doesn't need two parties to go ahead. If only one party wants to be involved, Brenda says that they can host a ceremony on their own or invite family to take part.
She also told Jen that divorce ceremonies can be held by non-married couples or those who have been separated for years but want to repair their platonic relationship.
"I had a couple recently who both wanted to attend their daughter's wedding. They had never said what they wanted to say to one another, and they had managed for many, many years to avoid each other at family occasions. We sat down and prepared a ceremony and they both got to say what they had to say."
To find out more about divorce ceremonies, listen back above.
