How do you ensure your relationship goes the distance? Is it monthly check-ins, quality time together or sharing new experiences?
For Tosin Idowu and Kieron Cullen, all are part of their relationship toolkit, but they had one specific test early on in their romance: get interviewed live on RTÉ News just three dates in.
As a pandemic couple who met during lockdowns, they had decided to revisit the scene of their first date, Butlers, for a hot chocolate and a walk down Grafton St when the Christmas lights came on. "Then all of a sudden, someone's coming with us with a mic, and Kieron's like, 'No, avoid them. Don't do it, don't do it'. I'm like, 'hello'", Tosin laughs.
"I was a teacher at the time, so when I went into school the next day, everyone was like, 'Miss, I saw you with your fella!' I was like, you didn't see me. That's not me. You don't know me. No one knew about him, not even my family. I didn't tell them we were on TV because they didn't even know I was dating him yet. And I'm like, how are we on TV when it's early days?!"
Having the national broadcaster hard launch your new relationship can only be seen as a vote of confidence, right?
They shared the story on their TikTok account, where they've amassed 25,000 followers through their date night ideas series, tips for healthy communication, and glimpses into their lives as a newly married couple in Dublin.
In the months since that viral video, which racked up a whopping 5.5 million views, the couple has become known for their adventurous date series, committed to sharing 100 date ideas around Ireland. They also chronicled their recent traditional Nigerian wedding, which took place last December in Atlanta, Georgia.
More than anything, they aim to give an authentic glimpse into building and maintaining a healthy and loving relationship. They recently detailed how they do monthly check-ins, asking each other the same three questions each month.
"We came to doing the monthly check In when I was actually having a conversation with one of my best friends", Tosin said. "She was telling me about how they do something like that, and it's weekly, but it's a way just to kind of check in with each other and make sure they're in sync and stuff. So I thought that was really good.
"We were on holiday in Greece at the time, and I forgot what but something kind of happened. I was just like, I think this would be a good idea. Having siblings who have been married for a while, they say that they have check ins now, but if they started it earlier, maybe it would have been even more helpful. So it's like seeing the benefits of it and talking to people who have been married and saying that they also feel like they need to check in with each other."
These kinds of check-ins are having their own viral moment on TikTok, with everyone from experts to everyday couples sharing their tips and insights into relationships. Tosin said they looked through many questions and settled on the three that best suit them.
"What are the things you appreciate in the past month that the other person has done or made you feel loved? The second one is what's something that you haven't brought up or you kind of want to talk about? Is there anything you want to bring in or add into the relationship the next month or going forward?"
Reflecting inward is just as important as getting out and about, they added.
"I feel like it's almost a competition now of who can find the cooler date, but also having fun together", Tosin said. "We just really like experiences over any kind of gifts or any other thing."
Some standout dates over the last few months have been a cocktail making class with Roe & Co, roller skating, hurling axes at the Axe Club in Dublin and a neon nude life drawing class in the Bernard Shaw.
"He was wearing nothing but a pair of socks", Kieron recalled, laughing. "I've actually done life drawing before, a long time ago, so I might have looked a bit too comfortable."
"He was kind of covered in dayglow paint and there was no pressure. You don't have to be any good. You don't have to have any drawn ability or anything. And there's a price to be 50 quid draw and a toilet brush."
Kieron is almost more into the at-home dates, he said, and the couple are an endless trove of inspiration when it comes to that, too. One date had them buying cheap paint "for less than a tenner" and going to a park to paint together. Board game nights are big for them too, as well as working on their cooking together.
"Cooking something, deliberately looking up a recipe that you've never done before, that's maybe a bit beyond your cooking skills", Kieron said. "Cook a meal for your partner and then just throw candles everywhere. All of a sudden it just feels a little bit more special."
When it comes to Galentine's or Palentine's dates, they say you can't beat a refreshing walk in Howth or Bray, followed by bottomless brunch – naturally. Tosin's top picks are Cleaver East and the Bernard Shaw's drag brunch.
You can follow along with Tosin and Kieron's date adventures on their TikTok.
