Jennifer Zamparelli spoke with comedian Felix O'Connor about his story and experience of being a trans, gay male and why he thinks the conversation of trans rights is so prevalent today. Listen back above.
Felix started by opening up about his diagnosis of gender dysphoria, which used to be called gender identity disorder, a more stigmatised term.
"It's a feeling of disconnect between the gender you present to the world and the gender that you feel internally", he explains. "But this idea of gender euphoria, it's kind of taking the term and reclaiming it away from this idea that being trans is centred on discomfort and pain, and this feeling of disconnect."
Gender euphoria, he adds, is more about "feeling happy and comfortable and feeling fulfilled in the way that you present yourself to the world".
"I think the most beautiful thing about gender euphoria as a term is that cis people can experience gender euphoria. They may not be aware of it in the same way that trans people are", he says. This can be getting a new outfit or hairstyle that reinforces how comfortable you feel in the gender you present. "You're feeling powerful."
Central to this is the importance of language and the power it can carry, something that Felix says he didn't have growing up as a tomboy.
"A lot of children are gender nonconforming growing up, and I think that's healthy", he adds. "I think kids in general should be given the space and the freedom to express themselves, and some people do grow out of that and some people don't, and the people who don't are generally trans people or gender nonconforming queer people."
He came to understand his gender more through his social circle, after becoming involved in BeLonGTo, a queer youth organisation in Dublin. There, he met the first trans man he'd ever met. Shortly afterwards, he realised he was trans.
"Instead of doing the thing that most people do where they start a new Facebook profile ... with my new name, I changed my name on Facebook", he says, which is how his family eventually found out.
"It was exhilarating, in a lot of ways, to finally have some language and to finally have access to a community where people feel the way you do, especially after so long being like, 'these are ways I feel but no one else seems to feel that way and I guess I'll just keep that to myself because I might alienate myself.'"
When it came to deciding to go on hormones, Felix says it was "a little bit" exhilarating and terrifying. "Going on hormones is like strapping yourself into a rollercoaster", he says, adding that you can stop at any time you want.
"In terms of the changes, you know what's going to happen but you're not sure how fast it's going to happen, you're not sure in what order necessarily, and you're not sure how things are going to affect you."
One thing he was concerned about was how his voice would break, and whether it would break in a way he'd be happy with.
He underwent "top surgery", or a double mastectomy in 2017. "A lot of my transition I would describe it as right place, right time. I've been extremely lucky in terms of when I came out and the resources that I had access to at the time." Felix came out in 2014, just before his 19th birthday.
"I think the most important thing is that we have resources for children to help them have that language that I didn't have, to help them explore in a way that allows them to get to that point where they feel they're ready to start hormones", he says.
"People are unsure if they want to go on hormones, but they're like,'well, it's a five-year waiting list so I might as well get on the system and wait the five years, and maybe in five years I'll be ready to go on hormones.' It's so long. We don't have a holistic system at the moment."
This contrasts with other countries where there is informed consent, Felix adds, and there's less "gatekeeping" when it comes to accessing treatment.
As for living as a gay trans man in Ireland in 2022, Felix says, "Personally, I love it!"
"Aside from all of the world-ending things that are happening in 2022, everything that's just going wrong."
Listen back to the full interview by clicking here.
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