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First Dates: 'It's not a common thing to be 25 and a virgin'

Nuashonraithe / Dé hAoine, 11 Márta 2022 13:46
First Dates has helped unpack a lot of misconceptions about sex and dating, and last night one dater was candid about being at virgin at 25.
First Dates has helped unpack a lot of misconceptions about sex and dating, and last night one dater was candid about being at virgin at 25.

First Dates Ireland has helped unpack a lot of misconceptions about sex and dating.

From featuring daters who are older, queer, trans and more, to opening conversations about polyamory, cheating, ghosting and the many kinds of "situationships", the show proves that there is no "normal" in dating nowadays – and it's all the better for it.

On last night's episode, one dater was candid about being at virgin at 25, smashing misconceptions in the process.

Ciara, 25, from Mayo bounced into the First Dates restaurant ready to make the most of her date, but not before flirting with maître d' Mateo Saina on behalf on her mam – a First Dates rite of passage.

She told the cameras she hadn't been on a date in three years, but she knew exactly what she was looking for: a "good person" who was easy to get along with and chill. The stakes weren't lost on her, however, as she said, "My mam said to me the other day, you could meet the love of your life. I was like, oh my god! That's true!"

Enter Orla, 28, from Dublin who hit it off with Ciara from the moment they sat down together – there's no better ice breaker than two fabulous outfits.

The pair connected over both identifying as bisexual, and the sometimes awkward questions that come up about which gender partner they prefer. "I genuinely don't care if it's a boy or a girl, it doesn't make a difference. If we vibe, we vibe", Ciara said.

"Growing up, everyone had their 'girl crush' and I was like, yeah I have girl crushes", Orla told the cameras. "It was only when I was 21 that I realised not everybody had the same level of girl crush I did."

They couldn't have come up with a more organic segue into discussing past relationships. Although Orla had had three relationships with men in the past, Ciara said – relatably that she'd had many "situationships, flirtationships".

When asked if she had rules for sex and dating, Ciara replied, "As a virgin, no! As somebody who's never actually had sex, no, I don't".

"It's not the most common thing to be 25 and still a virgin. It's not the most talked about thing, either. At this stage now, it really doesn't bother me. I'd probably like it to be with somebody I finally made a connection with, but I'm not overly worried if it doesn't happen like that either. As long as I'm into the person, as long as I'm attracted, as long as it's fun."

It seems like it led to a good conversation between the pair, with Orla saying, "Everyone goes at their own pace as well. You know when you're a teenager, and it's like, I don't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend yet, what's wrong with me!"

"Better to be in the best space for it yourself first", Ciara added.

From there, the pair cooed over goth phases, gabbed about emo bands like Fall Out Boy and Paramore, and how they came out as bisexual.

Orla told Ciara she didn't come out until 21, after doing copious amounts of Buzzfeed quizzes on whether or not she was bi.

Meanwhile, Ciara opened up about finding herself in college after years of bullying in secondary school. She said she hadn't been to Limerick, where she was studying, until the day she travelled down for college. She turned up at the LGBT Society as an "ally" and "a year and a half later, I was president".

After a Mrs. Doyle-worthy scrabble over who would the bill, it was clear the pair had hit it off. It was an immediate yes from both for another date. "She completely blew me out of the water", Ciara said. "It was insane how quickly it flowed. Her personality is just, 10/10."

As for Orla, she felt, "We had an awful lot in common, put me at ease immediately for starters. She was just so friendly".

Their night ended the way it began: in fits of flushed, giddy giggles and with unabashed enthusiasm. A dream date. "You'd swear we're 16!" Ciara laughed as the cameras stopped rolling.

After their date, study and work got in the way of the pair meeting up, but they stayed busy keeping in touch over FaceTime. In an update video from Ciara, she said the pair had decided to stay friends, so we can trust they'll be giggling away together in some capacity for the foreseeable!

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