Finding love is never an easy task. From making the perfect online dating profile, to that crucial opening line, to weathering the storms of crushes, friends with benefits, situation-ships and everything in between in the hopes of securing the coveted good morning texts on the regular.
And that's before you factor in a pandemic. Or, dating in a pandemic, in front of live cameras and thousands of viewers. And Twitter.
But for one couple, this seems to have been the perfect marriage of circumstances, as Shane and Avril – two lovebirds who met on First Dates Ireland – have been seeing each other for a year since their fateful introduction on the RTÉ show.
Viewers will remember their sweet encounter, with mum-of-one Avril arriving in a floor-length sparkling gown and dazzling onlookers, and Shane opening up about his brain injury 14 years ago that changed everything for him. Their connection was instant and moving to see, a truly perfect match.
The pair met between lockdowns, having their first date, Shane says, days before the second lockdown of 2020 kicked in. As restrictions set in once again, their spark was fanned by WhatsApp messages and video calls, before they finally made it official on Valentine's Day – a year ago, today.
"I was happy that he was a nice man and lovely looking man as well", Avril laughs now, remembering her first impressions of Shane on that dizzying first date.
They both came at it having reevaluated what they were looking for, with Shane sure he "was looking for a long term proper relationship", and Avril more aware of her "time", and what she was willing to spend it on.
Shane hadn't dated for 14 years, he recalls, saying, "I was on my own for a long time. I didn't want to be on my own all my life. You can do all stuff on your own, stuff like that. But at the end of the day, I kind of wanted to share my life with someone."
Avril felt the same, but had more pressing concerns about her commitments: "Even though a lot of people in the pandemic had more time, I didn't because my work increased. So I was just kind of thinking, will I have time actually for somebody now? I actually thought, will the person show up?"
From the sounds of it, not only did Shane show up then but he has continued to show up, through lockdowns, life events and more between the couple. "That's what you need in the hard times, someone to show up, because everyone can be great in the sunny times and the happy positive times", she says.
Avril was drawn most to Shane's openness and willingness to be vulnerable. "Like when he opened up to me about having a brain injury, and he was just kind of very matter of fact about it as well", she recalls.
It also helped that he was respectful about his own mother. "You always know by a man, if he's brought up right by his mothor, then he's a good one!"
For Avril, having respect for her as a mother was important, as she says: "Because I have responsibility and somebody else is always going to be there. As a mother, it's always going to be someone that's going to be more important than priority. And a man has to understand that you can't just go skipping off.
"Shane actually bought me a Teddy yesterday for Valentine's, and it actually says to the world's best mum on it, and that meant a lot to me because it showed that me being a mother is important to him as well."
For Shane, that was always how he was going to play the date: honest and open. "For years after [the injury] you close up and you'd be a so-called tough man, nothing would ever hurt you, and you wouldn't ever open up or show your feelings", he says.
Avril and Shane on @FirstDates I am absolutely sobbing. What a beautiful couple. Shane is just something else. My eyes are raw from crying...... #firstdatesirl pic.twitter.com/jBQU8qMkrA
— Fran_tastic1 (@Fran_Tastic1) February 11, 2021
But with Avril, he "knew she was genuine". "She was a nice, kind person and I felt comfortable talking to her about it."
"I didn't want to have any falsehoods in our first meeting. When we first met, we were both honest and open and truthful. We're dating a year now, and by now you obviously would have found out if what you were saying wasn't true!"
Being a pandemic couple, there are still a few milestones they haven't gotten to reach yet, Avril says, such as night clubbing, holidays and socialising with a group of extended friends. Still, it's the time they get to spend together that has kept them going, they both say.
With Avril in Dublin and Shane in Meath, making the time for each other is crucial. When asked what her secret to keeping the flame roaring is, she says, "Just being honest and investing the time and prioritising and [putting up boundaries for] ourselves when we have to".
For Shane, he finds ways to show he thinks of her: "We're always thinking of each other and we always have little gifts between each other. We always put in the effort. You have to put in the work, there's no point in going up to meet someone and then spending half an hour looking at your phone.
"We're still learning bits about each other, even though we're kind of a year in."
