Broadcaster Hector Ó hEochagáin recently partnered with Viatris to launch a new campaign to encourage men to talk about erectile dysfunction (ED).
Key findings from a survey conducted with 511 Irish men on attitudes to erectile dysfunction revealed that a third of men say that they have experienced difficulty achieving an erection and half said they have had an experience of ED at some stage.
Moreover, over half (54%) say they feel embarrassed discussing the issue with a family member, friend or partner. However, despite it being an uncomfortable topic to talk about, 63% feel that erectile problems should be talked about more openly.
As part of the campaign, Ó hEochagáin will host a new seven-part video series which will see him chat with leading advocates on a variety of topics relating to ED including relationships and nutrition as well as physical and mental health.
We spoke with Chartered Psychologist Allison Keating to find out more...
1. How common is ED in Ireland?
ED is common everywhere, a recent survey in Ireland found 'one third of men in Ireland have experienced difficulty in achieving an erection'.
2. Why do people find it so difficult to discuss? What is the psychology surrounding it?
We live in an overtly sexualized society that values and displays sex in a way that can be inconsistent to the experiences couples have behind closed doors. The comparison from various mediums from film to porn to reality can leave people feeling uncomfortable about an issue that many face.
Open, honest and real conversations that name and tame any shame or worries give permission to individuals, couples and society at large to talk about the realities of normal sex lives.
3. How can ED affect someone's mental health? And what can they do to re-frame their thinking?
Our sexual identity is a part of a core aspect of who we are. Sex can bring pleasure, intimacy and a sense of connection with your partner and many positive physical, mental and emotional healthy feelings.
It can be easy to fall into a cycle of anticipatory anxiety and dread at the idea of having sex thus leading to it feeling like the thoughts are actually happening in reality. This cycle can lead to avoidance and the fear can build.
Acknowledging the impact it has been having upon you and questioning the validity of any unhelpful thoughts you are having can be a helpful start. Bringing compassion to your experience is also effective.
4. When it comes to relationships, what is the best way to bring up ED or any topic that might be uncomfortable to discuss?
Be direct, if it helps you could write out what you’d like to say before-hand. Sometime the initial words are the most difficult. Often the anticipation of how the conversation will be is worse than how it goes in real life. You may also be pleasantly surprised at the relief you feel once you’ve had the chat.
5. When and where is the best time to bring it up a tricky discussion within a relationship?
Pick a time where you won’t be disturbed. It is a conversation that needs a sense of safety as it is private. In terms of where I would advocate going for a walk as it can be easier to have uncomfortable conversations shoulder to shoulder without the pressure of feelings of discomfort increasing if sitting facing each other.
6. What is the best approach to the conversation? Should someone do their homework beforehand?
Being mindful of your tone and bringing a sense of non-judgment and acceptance of the person as they are, is a good starting point. Stating the obvious, ‘I imagine this might be difficult to talk about and I’m here to support you.’
In terms of homework, it’s an individual choice, I think knowing your partner and their conversational style when stressed might be a good way to approach it.
Questions in general are good, because you are asking them which is empathic as opposed to telling them how you think it is, for them.
7. Do you think couples in Ireland discuss their sexual health / sex lives enough in general?
Definitely not and I wonder is it getting worse rather than better. As the gap widens between overt sexualization within society a person may feel like they are nothing like what they see on screen and close up even more.
8. How can we make the topic of sex more easily accessible with our partners?
Practice and a bit of humour work well. To start the conversation a good place to start is to ask what their best sex experiences were and why.
