Claire O'Mahony talks to Brenda Donohue about her radio show, Like Family, which is a reflection of lives lived against the backdrop of Covid 19, and how the pandemic has affected her own family and life.
Over the last few months, Brenda Donoghue has travelled Ireland taking a snapshot of family life as it has played out during the pandemic. In Like Family, the RTÉ Radio 1 series, she has heard stories of survival and of loss, and tales of milestones like births, marriages and funerals being marked in a strange new world.
Having delved into the whole gamut of life experiences for the show– the couple expecting triplets during lockdown, the big wedding that became a small, intimate commitment ceremony and the elderly woman in a nursing home who was unaware that her husband had died from coronavirus – Donohue believes that repercussions of the pandemic will be felt for a long time.
"In my own family, I have a university student, a person doing their Leaving Cert and an 11-year-old, as well as elderly parents, and that’s just in my immediate family. I haven’t lost anybody and I haven’t had that serious threat to the family structure," she says.
Wonderful for the kids #BackToSchool Something positive for them to get up for. Pity the coffee shops in #Kildare are not operating at full steam, they would have made a killing this morning #KildareLockdown #thanks to #teachers #caretakers #cleaners #schoolsecs etc
— Brenda Donohue (@BrendaDonohue) August 31, 2020
She’s thinking about her teenage girls in particular when she says: "One of them was meant to go on Erasmus this year. That’s a life experience and it won’t come back again. She’ll have different experiences and it’s not the end of the world and it could be worse but they’re the things that are really bugging me – the fact that they should be out having much more fun, they should be having the Electric Picnics and all of that."
Living in Kildare, she also admits that stepping into lockdown life has been harder the second time around.
"My 11-year-old was getting some structure back with a bit of soccer and Gaelic training, just down here in Kildare – gone, again. I have a young fellow and you’re trying to be proactive but it’s back on the PlayStation again because what is there to do?"
As she explored what has been happening to other Irish families over the last few months, Donohue also had an opportunity to forge some new experiences with her own family.
"I think what I’ve loved is the two teenage girls have gotten very close, whether that’s looking at Don’t Tell the Bride on Netflix so I have enjoyed watching that bond grow even stronger, even though they might kill each other. But you know that only they will understand what they’re going through and it’s a very unique experience."
She’s also learned how to play again with her children. Before lockdown, it was "somebody else’s job to entertain them, whether it’s their friends or their teacher or doing their own thing – that’s not my area. I don’t go around kicking a ball, I don’t play basketball, I don’t do board games. I do washing."
That’s now changed, as she explains: "I have learned to enjoy the family playing again, which I think has been a wonderful thing."
Tonight @RTERadio1 @10pm a special #LikeFamily I discuss the impact of #COVID19 on the older generation with @RoseAnnekenny1 @tilda_tcd and @RyanAssumpta We hear from grandparents as they reunite with grandchildren and those who have lost loved ones in #nursinghomes pic.twitter.com/LTQOngiITv
— Brenda Donohue (@BrendaDonohue) September 2, 2020
In fact, she’s become quite skilled at hoops in an endeavour to get her 11-year-old out to play basketball and away from Fortnite, the online game beloved of kids (and some adults too). She’s been pleased too to discover that her family has a very good work ethic, and none of them were happy to just sit around. And she now has a deep-seated respect for educators.
"Like many people, I learned to value so much the work of childcare assistants, teachers, school secretaries, because I hated homeschooling with a passion. I couldn’t even figure out what I was being asked and I was googling 'what are the two lines in the symmetry of a triangle,’" she says.
In September, two editions of Like Family will look at the impact Covid-19 is having on Irish families, both now and in the future. Featuring recordings with people made over lockdown, the first programme focuses on the impact the pandemic has had on the older population, covering themes such as grandparents and their relationship with their grandchildren, and nursing home residents.
The second show looks at how Covid is affecting the younger demographic, with topics like homeschooling and life transitions addressed.
Experts in studio will include Professor Sean Kennelly, clinical lead for the community integrated care team for older people in Tallaght University Hospital; Dr. Ann Devitt, director of research at Trinity’s school of education and Prof Mary Corcoran, sociologist from Maynooth University who will bring their expertise to questions regarding the consequences, both positive and negative, on each generation.
Dr Ann Devitt, @anndeibh joins @BrendaDonohue @RTERadio1 @LifeStyleRTE with an expert panel to discuss the ways in which the pandemic has affected families and young people in Ireland. #LeavingCert2020 #LifeFamily #Covid-19 #milestones
— School of Education (@SchoolofEdTCD) September 10, 2020
Listen here: https://t.co/2kfKaF2TZM
Donohue cites one of the benefits the pandemic has brought for some people is spending less time travelling for work and having those extra hours or minutes to do things like get a walk-in. But she believes that what families – hers included – have really missed is a lack of structure.
"So many people are out of routines and they’re out of synch with so much," she notes. "And even though there might be those positives of not commuting, there are so many other things with this – the lack of proper learning, fear of your children falling behind, lack of living the life they should be living in terms of the craic, the life experiences, the boyfriends, the kiss-chase. It just feels that families are so lopsided at the moment."
Ask the TV and radio presenter what family means to her and she says that the pandemic has crystallised just how important family is.
"I think if you imagine losing it, you will understand what it means," she says. "It means simple things like watching your kids head off full of confidence and fun and excitement for something, just carefree. It’s bringing them up to be rounded in a way that they can stand on their own two feet.
"I think being part of a family is thinking less about yourself and more about other people and feeling good when other people feel good. It’s about frustration, and it’s about responsibilities. I think you learn so much. It’s not all rosy, let’s face it, nobody is. But I think to value what you have within your family is the greatest thing you have."
