Meteorologist Joanna Donnelly has added her voice to the chorus of women opening up about parenting, motherhood and fertility, both the highs and the lows.
The beloved weather presenter shared her experience of having seven miscarriages, telling The Irish Times that the ordeal left her "furious all the time".
Donnelly has three children – Nicci, 17, Tobias 12, and Casper, 10 – with her husband Harm Luijkx, the first of whom was conceived with no hassle. However, secondary infertility – the inability to become pregnant or to carry a baby to term after previously having a baby – meant that the couple hit difficulties once they started trying for a second baby.
Their journey was a long and painful one, with seven miscarriages along the way. "It was very hard", Donnelly told the publication. "I didn't handle it well at all. I was absolutely furious all the time. I was living from two-week wait to two-week wait."
She continued: "I had my daughter so everybody tells you, 'you have to be happy, because you have your daughter', but as anybody that's been through it will tell you, that’s not how it works.
"And when you’re suffering from miscarriage or infertility all that you can see is the pain that you’re suffering every time your period comes. I was furious. I was angry, I was frustrated, I was sad – all the time."
She highlighted the cycle of hope and pain, hope and pain that comes with miscarriages, as well as the unique and challenging pressure infertility puts on couples.
Afternoon tea with my daughter @cullodenestate we've decided this is going to be our thing from now on. pic.twitter.com/26jmOr9XU8
— Joanna Donnelly (@JoannaDonnellyL) August 21, 2020
"The poor guys often get left behind because the bleed is happening to the woman. But the pain is there for the man too. And the stress and frustration for the husband in not being able to do anything to help."
She said that she wasted no time in seeking a doctor's advice, and was put on Clomid – a medication that stimulates ovulation – and after a miscarriage tried intrauterine insemination (IUI).
The couple eventually found success with IVF, as Donnelly says: "I knew I was pregnant straight away. I was very optimistic that it was going to work. They had me on drugs to maintain the pregnancy so I was very confident.
"And then, of course, I started bleeding at eight weeks and I nearly lost my mind. I lost Tobias' little twin at that stage."
When the couple got pregnant for the third time, without any IVF or medication, Donnelly was expecting the worst. "I was just expecting to lose it all the time", she said.
Met up with the super Noah and mom Sara yesterday. Reminds us what we doing this for and makes it all worthwhile.
— Pomegranate (@pomegranateIE) August 21, 2018
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The meteorologist has taken her experiences and turned them into something hopeful and helpful by starting the charity Pomegranate with her friend Fiona McPhillips. Taking the classical symbol of fertility as their name, the charity helps families pay for fertility treatment.
Her hope is that the topic of fertility will become more commonplace in our everyday. "We don't talk about any aspect of our sex life, fertility, infertility. We don’t talk about anything. We don’t talk about menopause. We don’t talk about our menstrual cycle and there’s no reason not to. It’s just weird not to."
The Miscarriage Association of Ireland is a charitable and completely voluntary body set up with the support of women and men who themselves have been through miscarriages. For more info, go to www.miscarriage.ie or call 01 873 5702.
