If you're scrolling through your Twitter or Facebook feed today, it's likely you've seen about a dozen proclamations of love between couples, a listicle on all the times some nostalgic TV show made us "aww", a personality quiz for what type of Valentine's chocolate you are, and perhaps even a proposal.
It's less likely you'll hear a story from one of the one in five women who experience domestic abuse in Ireland. Ireland is making moves to better safeguard people from emotional abuse, including a new law that makes coercive control an offence, which came into effect earlier this year.
However, many still suffer in silence, and on days like Valentine's Day - when the pressure to present as happy couples will add more strain - they can suffer in even more silence.
Speaking at our Hourglass event last year, Margaret Martin, Director for Women's Aid, said that the organisation - which provides support to those affected by domestic abuse and violence - "would get about 44 calls a day", and that in 2017 they received 19,000 calls.
With that in mind, Women's Aid today launched their #Lovedontfeelbad guide to healthy behaviour in intimate relationships, which was developed with support from Avon UK.
This Valentine’s Day, explore our #Lovedontfeelbad guide to healthy behaviour in intimate relationships, developed with support from @Avon_UK.
— Women's Aid (@womensaid) February 14, 2019
Remember, not all abuse is visible. Read more here: https://t.co/Lap9ZNAbWt #Valentines #coercivecontrol pic.twitter.com/ORFPH9J98A
The guide, which can be found at www.lovedontfeelbad.co.uk, covers a wide range of relationships,
The guide effectively shows the small details of an unhealthy relationship in side-by-side videos, such as the difference between a look and a playful comment, as in the "Is this a healthy relationship?" page. Short videos outline everything you need to know about coercive control, while a full guide to who to contact if you're in need of help is provided, too.
The guide also features information on how much you need to know about coercive control, myths about domestic abuse and coercive control and a collection of three real-life testimonials from women with experience of controlling relationships.
The launch unintentionally coincided with a Valentine's Day-themed advertisement run by Three UK, which plays on the idea of how mobile phones would have altered key moments in history, but has been criticised for its disturbing message about domestic violence.
The 15-second advertisement shows Henry VIII on a Tinder-style app deciding whether to "shag, marry or behead" potential future wives as he laughs, surrounded by courtiers.
With an average of two women a week being killed by a partner or ex-partner in England and Wales, we are disappointed by @ThreeUK’s 'Sh*g, marry, behead' campaign.
— Women's Aid (@womensaid) February 14, 2019
It's sad to see #Valentines used to trivialise violence against women. pic.twitter.com/Dia2OWE9eX
If any of these issues affect you, and you need to talk to someone, you can reach Women's Aid at 1800 341 900 or find their website here.
