David Coleman was back in studio with Sean O’Rourke to help parents navigate the rocky road of parenthood. Listen back above.
First up, an issue that many parents worry about at all stages of childhood and beyond – is my child making friends in school or are they feeling excluded and what’s the appropriate action for a parent?
David started out with two very different problems, a sixth-year student with many acquaintances but no close friends and a four-year-old who was being deliberately left out of social excursions and games by a classmate.
Lest we think that some of this will go over the four-year-old’s head, David says no, now is the time to intervene: "It's almost impossible for a 4-year-old to deal directly with that kind of inclusion, it's 100 per cent up to the adults in charge."
David suggests that parents speak with the staff at the creche and then, following that conversation, possibly discuss the issue with the classmate's parents.
It is also important to remember to chat with your child if they are being left out of things, as they may be feeling embarrassed or upset.
"The four-year-old will feel the exclusion - very much so - but it's really hard for her to process it both in terms of her emotions and, equally, dealing with it in practical terms," he says.
As for the sixth year student, David advises that parents allow their more grown-up children to navigate their own way through their social circles - as long as they're happy to do so.
"Really, it's up to the son to be concerned about whether his friendships are sustaining for him or if he needs more from them," says David.
"It's not necessarily a problem," he continues. "Many of us do like that emotional intimacy, we do like to feel that we can really trust somebody and that is often what we aspire to, in terms of our closest relationships but it's not necessarily a problem."
The child psychologist advised the father to sit down with his son and find out if he needs more support or if he is happy in his situation.
Listen back to David Coleman on Today with Sean O'Rourke above.
