From sock locks to seat belts and slippages, here are a few things I learned as a dad this week...

1. I've been present at 3 births (right hand is still fractured) but nothing compares to the facial expressions of a toddler trying to squeeze out a p*o.

2. Three kids...ahhh, I still can’t believe it sometimes. Bring me back to the days when Ross and Rachel being on a break was the only thing I had to worry think about.

3. DD Tip: Always make sure that your son is looking into the toilet (or even at the toilet) when you offer to have a ‘wee wee’ sword fight with them. #DadsWillUnderstand

4. "Look what I 'drawed' daddy" - I've said it once and I'll say it again, kids should need a licence to hold a permanent marker. #KitchenWall

5. My son’s teacher told his class that they ‘won’t have a calculator everywhere they go’. Hmm, time to rethink that one múinteoir!

6. Patience is watching your son trying to buckle his own seat belt.

7. I'm inventing a 'Sock Lock' that prevents toddlers from pulling off their socks and chewing on them. Hit me up if you want to invest.

8. Regardless of how tired you are, check that the sticker is off the apple before you scoff it down

9. I love, love, love when my pillow doubles up as a tissue for my boys. #ThatSnotaTissue

You never know what you'll find in here!
You never know what you'll find in here!

10. Tip: Always double check the outdoor ball play-pool in case it contains small brown balls which didn’t come in the original box. #WoofWoof

11. Me: "If you don't behave yourselves I'll take away the tablet".

Narrator: *But dad knew that taking away the tablet would be far worse for him than it would be for his kids*.

12. I really didn't realise how inappropriate some song lyrics were until my kids started singing them.

13. "DAAAAD. HELP. It just came out". What I didn't want to hear (or see) when i walked into the bathroom at 3.37am last night.


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