David Coleman gave advice to a RTÉ Radio 1 listener who was looking for some advice to help her 11-year-old son who suffers from a lack of confidence, and 'worries about everything'.
While doing well in school and in sport, mum Claire revealed that her son refuses to spend any time alone at all, and regularly checks under the bed as he’s worried someone could be there.
David Coleman explained to John Murray (who was covering for Sean O'Rourke) on the Today programme, that this behaviour could be as much about self-esteem as anxiety.
"Lots of parents talk about their children’s confidence, when in fact they probably end up actually talking about their self-esteem – which is their sense that they’re worthy, or valuable or useful."
David suggested that children with high self-esteem are likely to have high self-confidence parents and we should be aware that children are just as good as adults at faking their emotions.
"We can appear to be confident even if we don't necessarily believe in ourselves"
The psychologist went on to explain that parents need to focus on two things when working on their children's self-esteem; to help them feel capable and to help them feel loved.
"You’re looking at trying to focus on his sense of loveability…Does he feel that people accept him?
As humans, we need to feel as if we possess skills and talents that make us useful to those around us.
Both children and adults need to feel well liked by others in order to feel confident and self-assured.
As always, David gave plenty of useful advice and you can listen back in full above.
