Just over two weeks ago, on Today with Sean O’Rourke, listeners heard a powerful interview with Patrick Murphy, who had been diagnosed with cancer and described how he broke the news to his children, helping them understand what might lie ahead.
Also joining the discussion on that day was psychotherapist, Yvonne O’Meara, who helps children to process this shocking news when they receive it, and to cope with it in their own way.
The item got a huge response from listeners, amongst them Noreen Doyle, who has her own experience of talking to children about cancer.
But what was even more tricky in her situation was the fact that it was the child, or in her case, two of her children, who were diagnosed.
Noreen has four children, Adam (14), James (12), Alison (10) and Kate (8).
About 10 years ago, when James was just two, he was diagnosed with leukaemia, having been unwell for about four months. Adam, his older brother, was nearly four at the time and Noreen was pregnant with her third child, Alison.
James eventually came through his cancer, and is now a healthy 12-year-old, with hazy memories of his diagnosis, but strangely positive memories of the fun times at the Children’s Hospital.
But then, in April of this year, eight-year-old Kate began to feel unwell.
"She became quite lethargic, quite pale."
"I had that gut instinct that there was something going on. But I stuck my head in the sand because you don’t really want to think you are going to revisit this thing a second time."
Eventually, Noreen brought Kate to the GP, who said: "It couldn’t possibly be the same story again. It would just be awful."
Bringing Kate to Crumlin Hospital, blood tests were performed and, within two hours, it emerged she had the same diagnosis as her older brother, James. The exact same illness, eight years on.
"It’s not common. I don’t think there are that many families who have gone through Crumlin who have two siblings with exactly the same illness.
"The possibility is that it is genetic. It’s hard to tell."
How did Noreen talk to Kate about this diagnosis? Well, the family had always spoken about James, and his illness, so there was a degree of familiarity already amongst the children. They would talk about "the bugs in the blood".
So even though Kate was upset at the news, "she wasn’t hysterical", according to Noreen. There was a certain comfort to be taken and the fact that the family had been down this road before and come through.
"The couldn’t not be an element of fear. Of course. But you cannot let that control you. You have to do your best for the child. The child will take their lead from how you react.
"You get the news, you deal with the shock, and then you say, you know what, let’s just get stuck into this. Let’s just get it sorted."
Right now, the family members are doing their best to work around Kate’s treatment.
On an optimistic note, the cancer is 90% curable, so there is a positive prognosis straight away, said Noreen: "Kate, being female and her age, is a positive.
"And the fact that we have already gone through this, and we have seen the success that the treatment has had, means that Kate has something to look at, saying, I’m going to be just like my brother."
Listen to the full interview on Today with Sean O'Rourke above.
