It happened. The note came home in the schoolbag that head lice were doing the rounds and I did what every responsible parent does, I immediately said I’d deal with it…as soon as I had time. Too late. Got a call from the school to collect my little sweetie as she was ‘crawling’. Morto.
I know, we all know, that nits are only attracted to clean heads so why do we still feel ashamed? Perhaps it’s because my little schweetie had to be frog marched home to be cleansed. Perhaps it is because even though we have been told many times, since we were kids ourselves, that head lice favour fresh, clean scalps, they’re still disgusting, dirty little mites. The thought that they have invested the gorgeous locks of our little darlings is disgusting.
Or maybe it's just because you think yours won’t get them because secretly we think that it's only the lazy parents whose kids get them. Whatever it is, we need to just accept that nits are a part of primary school life and thanks to selfies, more secondary students are getting them too. Totes awks.
Next step? I’ve done the harsh chemical route in the past and I don’t like what they can do to their hair and scalps. I’ve researched the whole vacuuming out services that are doing a well-earned booming trade but I’ve also read this great article about All You Need (but might not want) to Know about Headlice.
Girls are targeted more than boys as the frickin’ mites don’t like testosterone, preferring girls hair so if you’re prone to them, they’ll be back as soon as they get a chance to visit so you may need to continuously pay for the service. Eh, no thanks.
THE PLAN
Combing. I’ve tried all the nit combs from the traditional little double sided white ones to the ones that come with the chemical treatments but the one that comes out on top is the Nitty Gritty Nit Comb. I was as excited as you can be to find such a thing.
The first thing I did was put on the fastest non-offensive, gripping YouTube clip I could find on my phone.
With child entertained enough to not mind the odd involuntary hair yank, I sprayed in conditioner (any will do) into the hair. Then the fun began…I began combing through the hair in sections over the sink. Clearing the comb as I went (gag much?).
Once done, a paler version of my former self, washed out little one’s hair and then put in…? Mayonnaise. Yep. Once applied, a Little Mermaid shower cap went on for the night. Next? I frogmarched the whole house up to the bathroom to repeat the process. I was worried it was going to ruin my own colour never mind the sheets and a precious nights sleep, but all grand.
The up-side is that mayo leaves the hair silky smooth. In truth, I would have been happy to have gone through life not knowing that, if it meant avoiding this malarky. Thankfully it was a Friday eve and Movie Night was able to proceed without much ado. Plus we have obligatory shower-capped-headed pics for future 21st parties. Every cloud...
I’m proud to say we are now a nit-free home - The Itchy & Scratchy Show is over. No exclamation marks, no parties. They’ll be back. But I’ll be ready. Until then, Movie and Mayonnaise night playdate, anyone?
Until next time, check out Digital Dads latest article. Loved his Dad-Bod one too. Hope he gets it sorted. Man-boobs? Good luck.
