Are You Being Served?
We've all met those beautiful people that work in clothing retail. Some are comfortable with their slick exterior, while others need to check that their looks haven't diminished every 30 to 40 seconds.

Buying a pair of jeans from one such Adonis or Cleopatra can present some interesting challenges as I found out. Not that I needed any help to know whether the clothes fitted me or not, but in this instance I could have tried on suspenders and a floral frock for all that this assistant knew! 

The words 'Buddy' and 'Mate' appeared at an alarming rate in our fractured conversation. On the couple of occasions that they were being attentive, 

Anyhow, it all ended well; their stunning looks hasn't diminished in the 20 minutes that I was in the shop, and I left with a pair of jeans that could have been tailor-made for me.

A Sea Of Green:

There was something quite comforting being in the midst of a mass green jerseys marching towards Wembley Stadium last Sunday. The majority of the 89,297 people that went to see Ireland play their second group game against Romania in the Rugby World cup were decked out in Green.

Rugby isn't just a game anymore, it's a spectacle. The roar of a full Wembley dwarfs the sound of a jet engine. The national anthems play, and are properly followed by 'Start Me Up' by The Rolling Stones pounding through the speaker system. Then there's the small matter of the game! It's an addictive atmosphere for a spectator, made all the more sweet by a comprehensive Irish win.

Money For Nothing:

Small talk is the enemy as far as I'm concerned. It is to be avoided whenever possible. A guaranteed question during these trying times will be 'what do you do?'

"I'm a DJ" has been my answer for many years. It's promptly followed by questions about music, which generally aren't too taxing to answer! But what do you do when someone is insistent that Dire Straits are the best band in the world, and anything else is rubbish? There is no antidote to this particular disposition, and there wasn't any reasoning with this individual either.

The suggested key to my future success was:
1. Play Dire Straits songs like The Walk Of Life, Brothers In Arms, and Money For Nothing (in fairness the guitar riff in the latter is incredible).

2. Don't bother with any of this new music, especially hip hop which is "All absolute nonsense."

3. Get yourself a job on TV too "perhaps Top Gear."

In retrospect, it's all so simple!

Ear Candy:

Seeing as the words 'New' and 'Music' have been mentioned above, here are some suggestions of new music that you might want to take a listen to.

London-based Irish band CODES have just unleashed their second album  ‘A A L T A R S’. It's smartly put together alt pop that fans of Depeche Mode, Years & Years, and New Order will absolutely love.

Speaking of New Order, they're back after a lengthy sabbatical  with Complete Music. The absence of bassist Peter Hook doesn't go unnoticed, but even without his unique bass grooves, New Order in 2015 sound excellent.

If you fancy going off more traditional pop/rock terrain, then ten piece Bixiga 70 by São Paulo  is certainly worth a visit. It fuses what we often call world music with elements of jazz and funk, resulting in a wonderfully catchy affair.

Tune into Dan Hegarty on The Alternative on 2fm (Monday to Thursday, 1am) and RTÉ 2XM (Monday to Thursday 10am - 1pm). He is also the author of Buried Treasure, an anthology of amazing yet undiscovered albums.

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