And so we gather to pay our final respects to "phase one" of The Conjuring Universe, a franchise that has delivered the so-special screen pairing of Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson as real-life paranormal investigators Lorraine and Ed Warren, spin-offs (Annabelle, The Nun), prequels and sequels to spin-offs (Annabelle: Creation, The Nun II), and $2.2 billion at the box office.
Horror never dies!
If ever a pair of fine actors deserved a great send-off for their charming devotion to two characters and a heart-warming real-life friendship forged in creepy crawlspaces and bad-news basements, it's Farmiga and Wilson.
Last Rites, however, is a letdown - and a long one.
Bringing the Warrens up to 1986 and out of retirement, the latest Conjuring returns to the "based on a true story" chestnut as the couple come to the rescue of a Pennsylvania family terrorised by forces in their own home.
Takes them a while to get there, mind - you have to sit through loads of cutting back and forth between chez Warren and the unfortunates over the way. By the time the Warrens eventually arrive, you have one unshakeable belief: a half-hour could have been shaved off this film, no bother.
Director Michael Chaves, who was previously behind the lens for 2021's The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It and 2023's The Nun II, gets lost in the dark here with a story that feels too paunchy for its audience and too desperate to cram stuff in during the last 20 minutes. And even the most devoted give-anything-a-go fan of gore and ghouls will be left gobsmacked by the bit of shark jumping that sees a mirror crushed in a rubbish truck - only to later reappear in the attic. Like, how?!
Let's hope Warner Bros and producers James Wan and Peter Safran let sleeping demons lie for a bit before embarking on "phase two". As to the direction that might take, well, Last Rites opens with a prologue involving the young Lorraine and Ed, played by Madison Lawlor and Orion Smith.
Stranger things have happened...
