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Rings runs rings around terror to no effect

Rings: a mind-numbingly feeble attempt at horror with action and screenplay that are all over the shop
Rings: a mind-numbingly feeble attempt at horror with action and screenplay that are all over the shop
Reviewer score
15A
Director F Javier Gutiérrez
Starring Alex Roe, Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz

Two young lovers, Holt and Julia (Alex Roe and Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz respectively) must part for a few weeks, while he goes to college to study biochemistry. In the meantime the pair Skype each other. During one of those Skype sessions, Julia is about to embark on one of those silly, ill-advised things that people do on the internet - take off her clothes. Suddenly the Skpye is terminated when two rough-looking geezers enter the room and haul Holt off somewhere to Julia's consternation.

Julia’s suspicions are aroused and she makes her way to Holt's university. Alarmingly, Holt is not present at the lecture she gate-crashes, which is being given by his decidedly fishy biology teacher, Gabriel. Gabriel has set out to prove the existence of the human soul after death through an experiment which has spawned a homicidal video. 

Julia discovers that the students are making copies of the video, chain- letter style. Holt has clearly become ensnared in this deadly piece of research, a Frankinstein's monster out of control on ancient VCRs. 

 

In the middle of all this sinister carry-on, Julia follows a clearly troubled female student who says that she might be able to help her find Holt. She duly brings Julia to her flat wherein is diplayed her taste for Goth-era interior decor, particularly the living room ceiling. It features a blood-spattered swirl effect which wouldn't get you marks on RTÉ One's Home of the Year. Cue loud racket of deafening sounds to scare the viewer to bits. Then the tedious death of the female student.

Somehow, in another example of the extremely fuzzy logic of this mess, Holt breaks free from whatever hell hole he's been in and finds his way to the flat of the dead girl where he is reunited with the doomed Julia who at some point sees the video and has seven days to live.

In search of a dead girl who has appeared to Julia in a vision, the pair of young lovers are led to an extremely rainy town. The local electricity supply is in a shocking state, power failures and that fizzing sound of lights shorting (a most original cinematic device that one, not.) A telegraph pole falls over at the scene of a car accident involving the biology lecturer (who is rather oddly in the locality).

The pole damn near kills him and nearly kills Julia too, before the pair find themselves in the house of the local former priest, who is somehow involved in the disappearance of a local girl, which is somehow linked with the killer video. 

Yes, a hell of a lot of `somehows' and the net effect a poor piece of film-making.

Paddy Kehoe