Directed by Roger Kumble starring Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair and Thomas Jane.

Cameron Diaz has paid her dues to comedy. In films like 'The Mask', 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Very Bad Things' she's done her bit for laughs of the wacky, twisted and black varieties. You'd like to think that at this stage she knows a witty script when she sees it, but after this mess it's going to take her a long time to win back your trust.

'The Sweetest Thing' finds Diaz's commitment-shirking Christina doing the exact opposite of the advice she's dispensed to her buddies (Applegate and Blair): falling for a guy at a club (Jane) and making a cross state trek to find him. She likes him because she think he's funny; the funniest thing about him is that his make-up is so ropey it looks like he's wearing eyeshadow. That's one highlight of the movie, the second is an old man with three lines who blows every star off the screen.

Attempting to perform gender reassignment on the Farrelly Brothers brand of gross out, 'The Sweetest Thing' is so awful that you wonder why director Roger Kumble didn't smother the whole thing in canned laughter. The people who can't get enough of jokes about piercings, body fluids and awkward sexual encounters are legion but suffering Kumble and former 'South Park' scriptwriter Nancy Pimental's attempts at them induces the same level of hilarity as watching a four-year-old wearing a potty as a helmet.

Perhaps Kumble wanted to blend the sweet and the sour for this movie, but with a script this weak and only 84 minutes in which to do it, the only thing he manages is to leave a very bad taste in your mouth. If the music sprayed over every scene doesn't get to you, the ridiculous song and dance routine which reworks Right Said Fred's 'I'm Too Sexy' into a tribute to a guy's girth will wear out its welcome in five seconds. And that's just the first 40 minutes…

If a date suggests the two of you should go and see this film dump them.

Harry Guerin