Strictly Come Dancing star Debbie McGee discussed the realities of living with grief on Friday's Late Late Show, admitting that the second year without her late husband Paul Daniels had been "much tougher" than the first.
The much-loved magician passed away in March 2016 aged 77 after being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour earlier that year. He and Debbie McGee had been married for almost 28 years, having worked together since 1979.
"It was Paul's two-year anniversary on St Patrick's Day," McGee told host Ryan Tubridy. "And then just after that was our wedding anniversary, and what would have been his 80th birthday. So they all came very close together.
"And I found year two was much tougher than year one. I think year one you're in shock and it doesn't seem real. In year two you realise, 'This is really happening. They're not coming back'."
McGee paid tribute to all the people that have helped her since her loss.
"I'm just so lucky I have an amazing family," she continued. "I have lovely friends. I have friends all around the world because wherever I go people come and talk to me. So I don't go to the post office and no-one says hello. Everybody talks to me.
"So every day I count my blessings that I was lucky I had this amazing man in my life for so long and a great life with him and no regrets whatsoever.
"We had the greatest time together for all the years we were together, and now I just have to learn to live without him. A way of doing that is working, and Strictly really helped lift me up and kind of out of it."
When asked how her late husband was in his final weeks, McGee replied that he "really wasn't very different to what he'd always been".
"He was joking every day," she recounted. "But his brain tumour - because he was only ill for a month - was pressing on the part of the brain that processes information. So he could watch quiz shows and if it was things that he knew, he could answer. But if you were asking him something new, he didn't quite understand.
"So we never knew if he really knew what was wrong with him. But on a day-to-day level, we still joked and had fun right up until the end."
"I had all these amazing years and my life is still good and there's still good things to come," McGee added.
"So I can't wallow and feel self-pity. I have to focus on what was positive of what I had with Paul, and what's going to be positive in my life now."
You can watch Debbie McGee's interview in full on the RTÉ Player.
If you were affected by issues raised in this article, please visit samaritans.org, contact the 24-hour helpline on 116123 or email: jo@samaritans.org.
