In September last year, Venetia Quick was walking her 8-year-old son Casper to his first football practice when an ambulance and fire brigade passed them, lights flashing and sirens on.
Casper turned to his mother and said, ‘They’re in a terrible hurry’. When Venetia glanced at her phone to check the time, the reason for their haste became apparent. They were going to her house.
Venetia Quick joined Ryan Tubridy this morning to talk about her late husband, Martin Thomas, their life together and the return of one of Dublin’s longest-running club nights, Strictly Handbag, in his honour.
It all started when Venetia wanted to be a bit different in college, she told Ryan. Already studying several languages, she decided to learn Russian, taking her to Moscow in 1991. It was an interesting time. Coming from "nice, leafy Dundalk", it was "quite a culture shock".
"At that point, you know, if there were oranges in the shops, people would ring each other - you couldn’t necessarily get oranges every day, but you could phone your mates for free."
Her experience was put to practical use when she was tasked with taking care of the Slovenian Eurovision delegation in 1996. A career in the media came out of it. Venetia worked for a time on the breakfast show at Anna Livia FM.
When she was just 20 years old – dressed as a mermaid at a fashion show at The Pod – Venetia met a man, Martin Thomas. He had just set up a nightclub night called Strictly Fish. He was doing the music at the fashion show. There was an instant connection.
"There was just something about him that I’d never met in anybody else before."
Their relationship was a bit on and off until the birth of their first son, Felix.
"I think that just made us grow up, actually, a little bit... I got pregnant with Felix and then we sort of went, okay well, this is it now."
Two more sons, Casper and Arlo, followed. In 2014, they were all featured on the RTÉ 1 show Connected. As part of the show, Venetia filmed herself and her life for one year.
"There was a sort of connectivity between everybody no matter where they came from."
Unfortunately, it’s now become precious footage. Venetia remembers noticing some physical changes in Martin.
"I noticed the beer belly had sort of gone and he looked sort of gaunt, and he was a greyish colour."
A friend who hadn’t seem him in a while was alarmed at his appearance and said he should go to the doctor but it wasn’t until he developed a cough on holiday and his energy went downhill that Martin decided to get checked out.
"They actually thought he might have TB, which I didn’t think you could get any more… There were alarm bells going, certainly."
Martin was in hospital for 7 weeks while being diagnosed. He was told he had Stage 3b lung cancer. It was inoperable.
"They couldn’t cure it. They could manage it… He had a 10% chance of 5 years. And he got 5 months."
Venetia told Ryan that her first instinct was to keep things normal. After hearing the diagnosis, she went to work.
"I didn’t know what I was doing, to be honest."
Thus, began a period where Venetia worked a lot "so Martin could be sick" and so their family could keep going. Martin went into hospital with double pneumonia and the reality started to set in.
"I think that’s when it actually hit me that this is sort of more serious than I’d actually let myself think about."
When Martin came home, they were still banking on more time. It wasn’t to be. On that day when Venetia and Casper were on their way to football, Martin had started coughing up blood. 13-year-old Felix had been the one to call an ambulance. A terrible scene waited for Venetia when she got home. Felix and Arlo were outside with a neighbour. Venetia went into auto-pilot.
"I started doing the washing up, because I thought everything was going to be fine…I just assumed that everything would be fine."
Martin died at home. Venetia told Ryan that the time directly after Martin’s death was spent making sure the kids were okay and getting back to work.
"Now, it’s reality. For the first 6 months, I think, it wasn’t."
On her first holiday since his death, she had time to take stock.
"I was in the pool one day, and I just realised I was in floods of tears… It’s the little moments that just hit out of nowhere."
Those who attended described Martin’s funeral as funny and warm, with a soundtrack featuring Human League, Elvis and AC/DC, harkening back to those Strictly Handbag days. Venetia recalled Panti Bliss’s summation of those nights Martin so carefully watched over.
"Whether you were a barrister or a bricklayer, gay or straight, whoever you were, once you could have fun, you could come."
This Saturday, 25 years since its original incarnation, Strictly Handbag will return in Martin’s honour, with all original DJs coming back to play at Dublin's Sugar Club. Part of the proceeds will go to The Martin Thomas Trust in association with Jigsaw.
Listen back to the full interview on The Ryan Tubridy Show below:
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