Analysis: When it comes to taking on new routines, our minds are designed to seek familiarity, not long-term self-improvement
With constantly shifting wellness trends, social media comparison, and carefully curated "day in the life" videos filling our screens, it's no surprise many of us decide it’s time to change ourselves. We set off on familiar paths of self-improvement, hoping to get fitter, eat healthier and be more productive.
But research and studies consistently show that around 90% of our good intentions don’t last. Maybe your goal was to start running, a goal you’ve returned to more than once. You do the first couple of runs, download the plan, feel optimistic, and then it quietly fades into the background. So why is creating a new routine so difficult?
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Drivetime, Prof. Ian Robertson discusses willpower
When our new routines fall apart, we are quick to turn on ourselves and say "I’m just lazy", "I have no discipline" or "I don’t want it enough". But this is not the full story. Psychologists studying behaviour change find that even highly motivated people struggle with new habits. It isn’t a lack of willpower, it’s how our brains work.
Human brains are wired to avoid effort, minimise discomfort, and return to familiar routines. That wiring has helped our ancestors conserve energy and stay safe, but it does not help much when you are trying to do that run on a cold morning. Motivation and grit may get you started, but rarely keeps you going once the initial excitement fades.
This pattern isn’t limited to the gym memberships or fitness apps. It shows up everywhere in human behaviour, including healthcare, where routines can be a matter of life and death. People with long-term conditions like diabetes often skip medications. Many people with sleep apnea stop wearing their CPAP masks at night.
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Drivetime, Dr Phillipa Lally from the School of Psychology at the University of Surrey on how habits are formed
Patients recovering from injuries and surgeries often abandon physiotherapy exercises. Research in behavioural medicine shows that around half of people with long-term illnesses don’t take their prescribed medications. Even when the stakes are high, knowing something matters isn’t enough to guarantee follow-through. This challenges the idea that behaviour change is simply about motivation or discipline.
So, if the problem is not motivation, then what is it? Healthcare research offers an important clue. One key factor psychologists highlight is psychological inflexibility. This is the tendency to get tangled up in our thoughts, avoid uncomfortable feelings, and let short-term relief dictate our behaviours. If going for a run brings up uncomfortable thoughts of self-doubt, the quickest way to feel better in the moment is to not push through and go on the run. The brain learns that avoidance works, at least in the short-term.
The opposite skill is psychological flexibility, the ability to notice difficult thoughts and feelings without being ruled by them, to make space for discomfort, and to keep acting in line with what matters to you. This idea sits at the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, an approach often used in healthcare.
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From RTÉ Podcast You Ok?, counselling psychologist Aisling Leonard-Curtin explains the concept of psychological flexibility and how developing it allows us to hold firm.
Studies show that people with greater psychological flexibility are better at sticking to new treatment routines. In other words, the same mental skills that help someone take medication regularly could also help someone in building new routines of exercising, eating well etc.
Psychological flexibility isn’t just a vague mindset, it’s made up of six key skills.
Acceptance - Allowing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to exist without getting stuck in them.
Cognitive defusion - Seeing thoughts as just that, thoughts and not taking them as facts.
Being present - Paying attention to the here and now, trying to not get caught up in the worries of the past or future.
A sense of self - Recognise who you are as a person outside of current thoughts and feelings.
Values - What matters to you?
Committed Action - Taking small steps that reflect your values, even when it is difficult.
Studies show that people with greater psychological flexibility are better at sticking to new treatment routines
In everyday terms this might look like noticing thoughts such as "I’ve failed, I’m useless" after skipping the gym, and recognising these as thoughts and not facts. It might mean allowing disappointment to be there without spiralling into guilt, reminding yourself why your goal matters to you, and asking what can you do right now that moves you even slightly in that direction. Instead of waiting to feel motivated, you act because it reflects what matters.
This shift matters because it reframes failure. Missing a workout, abandoning a plan, or falling back into old habits isn’t proof that something is wrong with you, it’s proof that you have a very normal human brain. Our minds are designed to seek familiarity, not long-term self improvement, but when we learn to respond differently to discomfort, self-doubt or setbacks, we give ourselves a better chance at sticking to new routines. Maybe the problem was never the lack of willpower, but rather working with your brain instead of against it. We need to recognise negative thoughts instead of being controlled by them.
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The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ
