Analysis: Bullying is a preventable behaviour that thrives in silence but diminishes when communities, schools and families act together
As children are returning to school, excitement often mingles with nerves. For many young people, the classroom is a place of friendship, learning and discovery. Yet for others, the return to school also means facing bullying, an issue that remains widespread and deeply damaging.
A new study released this week by the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI) sheds important light on the reality of bullying among Irish children and adolescents. The findings are a reminder to parents that vigilance, communication and support are critical during the back-to-school season.
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Morning Ireland, concern expressed over level of bullying experienced by secondary students
The ESRI study finds 40% of nine-year-olds report being picked on by another child - or even an adult. 37% of 13-year-olds say they have experienced repeated bullying behaviours, such as being hit, being called names or being excluded.
The study also highlights that certain groups are particularly vulnerable. 13-year-olds with a disability, those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or questioning (LGBQ), and those who are overweight are more likely to have been bullied. These young people tend to experience social forms of bullying, such as exclusion and name-calling, rather than physical aggression.
Gender also shapes bullying experiences. Girls are less likely to be physically hit, but more likely to face social exclusion, name-calling, and online abuse. Many girls report that hurtful comments about them are made online or spread via text, compounding the impact of in-school bullying.
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Drivetime, one in five pupils report incidents of bullying in our schools
One of the study's most striking findings is the gap between recognising bullying and reporting it. 70% of children who understand they are being bullied report it to an adult. By contrast, only 42% of children who face bullying behaviours such as being hit, called names or excluded tell someone. This suggests that many children do not label certain harmful behaviours as "bullying," even though they cause significant distress. Without that recognition, children are less likely to reach out for help.
Based on the ESRI findings we can conclude that educational programmes that promote diversity and equip children to recognise, respond to, and report bullying are essential. Programmes such as the FUSE Anti-Bullying Programme at DCU are examples of initiatives that empower young people, while also guiding parents and schools in tackling this issue effectively.
6 ways parents can help
As a parent, you are your child’s first line of defence against bullying. While schools have a responsibility to implement anti-bullying policies, the home is where children learn how to talk about their experiences, how to process them, and how to build resilience.
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From RTÉ Archives, Lorna Donlon reports for RTÉ News in 1993 on the introduction of new guidelines to deal with bullying in schools
Here are some practical steps parents can take:
Start the conversation early
Don’t wait until your child comes to you with a problem. Initiate conversations about friendships, online activity, and how they feel at school. Ask open-ended questions like "Who did you sit with at lunch today?", "How are things going with your classmates?" or "Have you seen or heard anything unkind happening at school?" These gentle prompts can create a safe space for your child to share.
Teach them what bullying looks like
Since many children don’t always label harmful behaviour as bullying, explain clearly the different forms it can take:
- Physical: hitting, pushing, taking belongings.
- Verbal: name-calling, teasing, threats.
- Social: exclusion, spreading rumours, manipulation.
- Online: nasty messages, sharing embarrassing images, cyber-rumours.
By helping your child recognise these behaviours, you increase the likelihood they will report incidents, either involving themselves or their peers. It will also help them to check their own behaviour towards other students.
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Ray D'Arcy Show, Dr Maria Garvey on the problem of hidden bullying in schools and how to tackle it
Encourage empathy and diversity
Children who are different in any way, whether due to disability, body size or sexual orientation are at greater risk of bullying. Talk to your children about respecting differences and model inclusive behaviour at home. Reinforce the message that kindness and empathy are strengths, not weaknesses.
Keep an eye on online spaces
Online bullying is a concern, especially for older children. Our own research in DCU found that the majority of those who are bullied online are also bullied offline. So set clear boundaries about internet and phone use, and encourage your child to share what happens online. Importantly, assure them that if something upsetting occurs, they will not lose access to their devices as this may feel like a punishment for telling you.
Respond calmly if your child is bullied
If your child tells you they are being bullied, listen without judgement or anger. Reacting with fury can make your child fearful of disclosing more. Instead, reassure them that they did the right thing by telling you, and together, decide on the next steps. This may include speaking with the school, documenting incidents, and most importantly, continuing to provide emotional support at home.
Parents have the power to break the silence around bullying
Work with the school
Under Cineáltas, the Department of Education and Youth's Action Plan on Bullying, schools are required to have anti-bullying policies and procedures. If your child is affected, contact their teacher or principal promptly. Approach the situation as a partnership with the school, rather than an adversarial battle. Ask about programmes in place, such as FUSE, and advocate for proactive measures that create an inclusive culture.
Bullying is not an inevitable part of growing up. It is a preventable behaviour that thrives in silence but diminishes when communities, schools, and families act together. The ESRI study makes clear that too many children, particularly those who are vulnerable, still face isolation, ridicule, and abuse.
As parents, we have the power to break that silence by starting conversations, teaching empathy, monitoring online activity and working alongside schools. This back-to-school season let’s commit to making sure every child feels safe, included, and respected.
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The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ
