Opinion: our constant obsession with happiness can be a recipe for disappointment and disaster
Philosophers have long been interested with the good life and how it can be achieved. Indeed, the term hedonism – maximising pleasure and minimising pain – was articulated thousands of years ago by Aristippus who was a strong advocate of immediate sensory gratification. On the other hand, Aristotle considered sensual pleasure vulgar and championed the notion that true happiness entails identifying one's qualities, cultivating them, and living life with them consistently.
While there are multiple definitions for happiness, modern society tends to agree that happiness is an emotional state characterised by feelings of joy, contentment and fulfilment. However, what we often fail to understand is that our constant obsession with happiness can be a recipe for disappointment and disaster.
Indeed, in a culture fixated with happiness, it has become an accepted justification for any type of behaviour or action. What society has failed to recognise is that happiness isn’t a state of constant euphoria. Instead, it's an overall sense of wellbeing predicated on the idea of experiencing more positive than negative emotions in our lives.
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Brendan O'Connor, psychotherapist Richard Hogan on how to be happy
While counterintuitive, recognising that it isn’t possible to be happy all of the time actually makes us happier. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for happiness. Indeed. the pursual of happiness is often considered futile, with many philosophers suggesting that happiness may seek to find us if we take the time to just stand still.
It's widely recognised that people perceive happiness in different ways. How people conceive of happiness reveals much about who they are and their values. Social scientists, psychologists and economists have studied happiness for decades and agree that there are key signs that they look for when measuring and assessing happiness.
These signs include feeling you are living the life of your choosing; being easy going and having a willingness to take each day as it comes, while remaining open to new experiences; being content with your standard of living and your living conditions; enjoying positive, healthy, and nurturing relationships with other people; feeling that your life has a sense of meaning and purpose and that you have accomplished or are on your way to accomplishing, something that you perceive as important in life; feeling positive more than negative; practicing self-care, self-compassion, and gratitude and sharing your happiness and warmth with others.
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From RTÉ Radio 1's Brendan O'Connor, a formula for a happy life from Prof Arthur C Brooks, Professor of Happiness at Harvard Business School
If there are key signs missing in your life, don’t be glum, because the position of happiness is not static and is in constant flux. Studies have shown that we can boost our happiness levels by incorporating a number of key practices into our lives. Here are four of those practices.
Protect your emotional ecosystem
You have undoubtably heard of bio and ecological diversity, and the significance of diversity for providing balance and strength. The more diverse and plentiful the ecosystem, the more flexible and resilient it is. But did you know that we also have a human emotional ecosystem and that it operates on the same principles?
When we experience emotions appropriate to given situations - such as sadness when we lose someone close to us, embarrassment when we behave badly, or anger when we feel mistreated - we demonstrate a self-aware and authentic life. The ability to demonstrate emotional reflexivity has been repeatedly linked to good health and well-being outcomes.
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From RTÉ 2fm's Jennifer Zamparelli Show, author Whitney Goodman on her book, 'Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy
Studies suggest that experiencing several different emotional states may make us more mentally resilient than experiencing fewer. Scientists reason that experiencing each emotional state can provide us with rich information on which behaviour to initiate when we face difficult situations. Doing this protects us from becoming overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed.
Relationships
Strong healthy relationships have been found to have one of the highest positive correlations with self-rated happiness. Sadly, some studies suggest that loneliness kills and that people who are less lonely live longer. Individuals that are more socially interwoven with family and friends are reported as not only experiencing higher levels of happiness but are said to be physically healthier and live longer. Remember when it comes to relationships it is quality and not quantity that counts.
Inspiration
Inspiration is an experience we feel intensely. We are inspired by varying ideas, thoughts, possibilities, insights or beauty to pursue a goal that we perceive as more important than the trivial mundane concerns that often occupy our daily lives. Our inspiration may come from our creative pastimes, engaging with nature or quite simply listening to our favourite music and allowing the melody to uplift our souls.
We can boost our happiness levels by incorporating a number of key practices into our lives
Investing in new or novel experiences, from visiting the theatre to mountain climbing or challenging ourselves to move out of our comfort zones and to dare to dream big and bold, can inspire us. Such experiences are reported to have positive long-term effects on our levels of happiness.
Volunteering
Volunteering is important as it offers much needed help to worthy causes, people who could benefit from extra support and the wider community. In addition, studies suggest that volunteering can provide us with a sense of purpose and can fuel positive emotional health. Not only that but finding the right volunteering activity can increase our social connectiveness, help our career development, benefit society, and gives us the opportunity to practice kindness.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ
